the_comfortable_courtesan

A lesson to pay up one’s bills prompt

Matters were very quiet at the agency at this season – Hacker and Frinton gone frolicking in Society, Tess visiting her sister for a few days. Matt had looked at Solly and grinned and said, a fine time to get the accounts under hand!

Sure he saw the sense in that, and there were a number of cases where letters needed to be sent reminding the recipients of the fine service the Johnson Agency had done 'em, and to pay up sharpish! – and he could see that the affairs of the agency were in a very healthy condition –

But he was reminded of how he had got in to trouble that first time, because 'twas very, very, tedious. Not like having a set of accounts before him where he could almost smell that some queer business was in there and he had the agreeable task of ferreting it out.

Mayhap, he suggested, 'twas time that they should be bringing young Dickie on in understanding somewhat of this side of the business – for Dickie Smith had turned up t’other day asking a little desperate did they have any tasks for him, by which they apprehended that he was being put to odd jobs about the stables and the tavern and very like ordered around by his older brothers as he did so.

Very like he hoped that he might be tasked with pasting reports of their works into scrapbooks, but neither Matt nor Solly felt confident in assigning him to undertake that in Frinton’s absence! She had her methods and her system.

So there was an agreeable day or so of instructing Dickie in the rudiments of the accounts, and he was a bright young fellow, with a good grasp, and one morning Solly looked out of the window to observe that 'twas still a moderate fine day as had promised, fancied would go stretch his legs about a certain investigation and leave sorting these papers in Dickie’s hands. Would check 'em over on his return, but had some confidence that Dickie was capable –

Told Matt where he was going.

Matt concurred that one might anticipate that persons in the medical trades would very like continue open for business around this season – making up mixtures for colics &C due to over-indulgence – but feared 'twas a needle in a haystack.

Took the thought, said Solly, that tactful questioning at his lodgings might reveal somewhat to the matter.

Matt nodded slowly. Very tactful –

Thought I might intimate what we was looking into was the bigamy – and his state of health being most material to how far 'twould be worth pursuing that.

Why indeed, one would not want to be at the expense of bringing his wife all the way from Chicago does he expire while she is still on the way! 'Tis a sound thought.

Put on his hat, and overcoat, and picked up his stick, and set off to take an omnibus to Camden Town.

Was not a particularly low lodging-house, but he wondered what Lady Wauderkell had made of it – o, my dove, we are saving money in view of your lawsuits in Ireland? – though one supposed that she had got used to living somewhat austere so mayhap had not come as a shock –

Went to the kitchen-door, and discovered the landlady herself toiling over the range and muttering – was able to ingratiate himself by going assist and perchance entire by luck getting the thing to fire up as should and be able to be left.

She pushed straying locks of hair back under her cap and thanked him, saying, alas, did not have any chamber free at present –

Solly explained his mission.

Mrs Batterby pulled a face and snorted, offering that he might care for a cup of tea?

So, comfortable over tea, she disclosed that she was less than happy with O’Neill as a lodger –

Indeed I could do without the scandal and the fuss and the fellows from the press &C, but here he is, lies around on his bed of sickness all day – has the barber come in to shave him – sends the girl out on errands, including over to the Bull, that I cannot like for her – and 'tis all, O, Mrs B, put it on my account, I have very little ready cash about me, when I can at last be up and about I can get to my bank –

Bed of sickness? murmured Solly.

Well, Upton the apothecary, that I sent for – and there is another bill outstanding – says sure he should rest, to let it heal, ensure does not come any putrefaction about the wound, but he is none so very poorly that I can see – eats very hearty –

But does not go out?

She shook her head.

Because did he do so – Solly lowered his voice – would be very useful to us to search his room, see was there any letters or mementos of interest – would be very grateful – he said with a meaningful gesture.

Law, does he show any signs that way, could inform you – Solly handed over one of the agency’s cards.

This did not sound like a fellow that had been nigh mortal wounded!

But now he had the name of the apothecary and might go find him. He thanked Mrs Batterby very hearty and said, to keep 'em informed.

She smirked and said, was keeping a close eye on O’Neill, in some concern that he might attempt a flit. And wondered how many that supposed themselves wives of his there was in the world!

O’Neill going about to levant might, thought Solly, fall out very well for the unfortunate Lady Wauderkell – fancied the prosecution would have to produce evidence of a corpse or the material form of a nigh-mortally injured deceiving scoundrel – but one never knew – there was a peeler could testify to have seen O’Neill in his supposed extremity – and that reporter that had writ up an account –

He walked along the street a little and turned the corner to where there were shops, and a little of a bustle, and came to the apothecary’s, that must have been there some while, had a fine old-fashioned sign with a pestle and mortar hanging outside. Peered in, and looked to be more of a modern business than that suggested – no stuffed crocodile hanging in the window! – so entered, and noticed prominently displayed certificates from the Society of Apothecaries and the Pharmaceutical Society. A proper learned fellow then and no quack.

There was a spotty young fellow rolling pills in a desultory fashion, that upon enquiry revealed that Mr Upton would be found in the Bull.

So Solly took himself to the Bull, that had the air of a well-kept respectable neighbourhood tavern – but e’en so, he supposed Mrs Batterby would not want her girl to be going among men drinking there, very proper – and, the weather striking chill, ordered a gin-hot.

There was not a deal of company in the place at this hour – on asking after Upton, was pointed at a neatly dressed fellow seated at a table in a corner, a plateful of dinner and a glass of beer before him, reading a newspaper.

He looked up at Solly, that explained his errand, and offered to buy him a drink.

Are you buying, said Upton with a small smile, will take a gin-hot.

Once he was sat down opposite the apothecary, and they had lifted their glasses to one another and drunk, Upton let out a snort and said, Mortal wound indeed. Was the merest scratch – o, 'twas a long one, and bled considerable, but no more than skin-deep, no internal organs in danger. Healing up nicely – no signs of infection –

Now, he said, how I estimate it, is, that she flew at him in a rage, mayhap not even thinking that she had the knife in her hand – and one feels for the poor woman, he sighed – and he fell backwards at the suddenness of the attack, and then thought he would pretend to serious injury in the supposition that this would bring her to a contrite state, weeping and begging forgiveness no doubt –

Solly looked at him very approving – that sounded entirely what one might anticipate from O’Neill! – and nodded, remarking that that was a very plausible interpretation of the events. And was there any possibility that Mr Upton might be persuaded to testify in court?

Upton positively grinned and said, had oft wished to see Merrett in action in the courtroom – they say 'tis good as a play – and here he was in the greatest doubt he should ever see payment of his account for attendance – why, would happily give evidence that he had seen men do themselves worse damage shaving.

Solly handed over one of the agency cards – in case you recollect any further material matter.

So they parted on very agreeable terms – let that be a lesson, thought Solly, to pay up one’s bills prompt, for mayhap had O’Neill done so Upton would have been more reticent in his opinions.

Returned to the agency offices, and was somewhat surprized to discover Tess there, seated at the large table in the filing room, about furbishing up one of the dresses in their wardrobe.

Could not stand it anymore, my sister wringing her hands over me – my sister that was no help at all when that fiend was still at large – and her latest notion is that I should go emigrate – give myself out a widow or even a spinster –

Fancy you did not tell her that you had had that offer to dispatch your spouse!

Tess blushed.

Solly went in to inform Matt of the state of the investigation, and to advance the thought that might be prudent to put a watch upon the place to see did O’Neill try to make his escape. Mrs Batterby is keeping a sharp eye, but has the work of the house and her other lodgers to be about.

Matt nodded. Here is Fendersham, gives us entire carte blanche over pursuing the investigation, makes no trouble over expenses, let us see what agents are free to undertake this.