the_comfortable_courtesan

I go to Mr H-'s for my assignation with the stufft swan, and spend some time personating Leda in various positions. Mr H- is most extreme pleas’d, tho’ he has yet many more depictions of this episode that we may venture upon in future.

He then prevails upon me to take a restorative glass of madeira.

Looking at me over his own glass, he remarks that tho’ I am still entirely the exquisite Madame C-, there are signs to one of his pursuit that my journey to Carlsbad must have been attended with quite particular travails. But why, my dear, did you not consult me? It was most imprudent of you to undertake such an arduous expedition in such a condition. No wonder you do not wish to talk about it.

Oh, Mr H-, I cry, sure one cannot escape your eagle eye. But quite apart from the straits in which my dearest Miss G- found herself, which would by themselves have spurr’d me on to Carlsbad with most impetuous speed, there was a most particular circumstance pertaining to my condition which render’d it a matter for the utmost discretion, for sure it was the very worst of times to inform the other party.

I see Mr H- considering on this and coming to the conclusion that I am alluding to the very close coincidence of my getting with child and dear Biffle’s marriage. He taps his nose as one that understands but will not speak, and pours himself some more madeira.

And what of this business of the F-s? he goes on. I have the strongest suspicion that they must have consulted some quack that makes wild promises that accord with their patients’ desires rather than advocating a necessary caution in the proper professional spirit. It seems to have fallen out with better fortune than they deserve for taking such a risque with Mrs F-'s health, and I would certainly warn them against repeating so perilous a course.

I daresay, I reply, but Mr F- has not visited me since my return to Town and his letters say nothing to the matter, for it is hardly something that he would communicate to me, though I have long been of the impression that Mrs F- is quite passionately maternal and regretted the necessity of cessation of familial increase.

Indeed she convey’d as much to me during our consultations, but it was really unduly reckless of her. She has, what, four? five? children already, that need their mamma. More madeira? I shake my head. But, I go on, on the subject of wines… and move the topick of our conversation to his free-trade friends in Sussex.

He says he thinks he can accommodate me, altho’ there has been some trouble (but these fellows are very close about it and do not speak openly) within the ranks of the gentlemen of the Trade in those parts, and one that he most rely’d upon for his goods was but lately shot and died of it. But his cellars are so very usefull to the Trade that he confides he will soon set up a good connection once more.

In the afternoon I betake me to Mamzelle Bridgette’s for fittings and my meeting with Lady W-.

Lady W- is already in the discreet chamber when I enter. I dip her a curtesy and take the other chair. She looks exceeding well, as she raises her lorgnette to observe me. Why, she says, this dreadfull excursion of yours has left you looking so well that sure it should be prescribed. Oh no, say I, I was quite knocked up by it, but spent some weeks in recruiting my health on my return to English shores.

But Miss G-, asks Lady W-, is not, I apprehend, returning to these shores?

Not, say I, at least for a good long time, and if she does so, I confide that there would be few, if any, that would recognize her. She has married extreme well, and gone to live at a very great distance from this precious stone, set in a silver sea. Should we ever see her again, it must be in very different circumstance.

Lady W- lets out a long sigh. I do not wish her any ill, she says, but yet I would rather she was indeed at a great distance.

I do not suppose, says I, that even were she staking her bracelet nightly in the gambling hells of Town, that you would need to have any concern.

That is not the opinion of the dread crocodile, says Lady W-, who will nod and wink and aver that she had to use great strategy to detach Sir B- W- from that gypsy gamester and her wiles.

I make a somewhat vulgar snorting noise at this. Sure you do not believe anything she tells you? ‘Tis entirely jealousy over Sir B- W-'s great fondness for yourself.

That is what I would wish to think, she agrees. But tell me, do you know anything about this business of the F-s, or did it all occur while you were out of the country? For certainly all were very surpriz’d – Mrs F- must have been quite sly in concealing the matter, for she was making visits up until nigh on the time that she must have been confin’d. She has indeed said many times that she would desire a larger family, but I thought that she, and Mr F-, were quite entirely sensible of the danger.

Mr H-, I say, is of the opinion that they must have consulted some practitioner – o, you know his way, he will say a quack, but thus he deems any whose opinions accord not with his, even should it be the President of the Physicians’ College – who took a less gloomy view of the prospect. But would you not, in such a case, keep the matter somewhat privy from concern’d friends who had heard the earlier verdict?

Indeed, when you put it like that, it would be entirely prudent. Have I not witnesst the trials of Her Grace the Duchess of M- under Lady J-'s quite extreme anxiety? My poor dear friend has suffer’d much from dire warnings that the mildest activity was extreme prejudicial to her condition.

Biddy Smith knocks upon the door and wonders if the ladies might desire some tea? O yes, says, Lady W-, let us have some tea, for there was another matter that I wisht to open to your good judgement.

Sure you flatter my capacities, say I.

She pours us both tea, and says that I must know that she has been making quite a friend of Mrs S-, who is a delightful creature – I believe you have met Mr S-? they are a most charming quaint couple – and at the moment, she acts as guardian to her half-brother and sister, the latter being that Miss K- that made herself so notorious during her first season. Their mother has a complaint that baffles the doctors, drags from spaw to spaw in hope of relief, their father is distract’d by the cares of business and concern for his wife. So Mrs S- has the care of these two, the boy being said to have been in a very wild bad set, and the girl, well, we know of her already, do we not? She gives me a sideways glance.

Tho’ I will say, she continues, that they both seem to have learnt some lesson and now conduct themselves much better, are most respectful to their seniors, &C. The girl takes to a good steady course of study: as one that has been called blue-stocking myself I think that an excellent thing for a young woman, but I know that there are those that would greatly decry such a proceeding. She has not been going out into Society at all this past season, believing she has quite blacken’d her reputation through her previous behaviour, altho’ it has been given out that it is their mother’s condition that leads to this seclusion.

However, she continues, Mrs S- thinks that it would be entirely desirable for her sister to go about in Society in the new season, but that she herself does not really go into Society, and has put the matter to me as one that might take the girl about a little. I am not entirely decided about this, both because I am in hopes that I shall be increasing again by then, and also, while the girl is meek and quiet at the moment, I fear recurrence of her earlier conduct.

That is indeed a difficult question, I remark. Young girls are so extreme volatile and changeable that this reform may not last. And indeed she must have made enemies, although it is all last year’s scandal by now and sure there will have been other causes of gossip and speculation. Has Mrs S- no other friends within Society that she might approach?

Lady W- says that because of the prejudices around Mrs S-'s marriage she believes not.

I will consider, says I. Perhaps we should see if the girl goes about to raise some other scandal.

Lady W- gives her charming crook’d smile and says that at this moment, from what her sister reports, such a scandal would probably involve Miss K- running off to become a nun.

We part with great amiability towards one another.

I conclude some business with Biddy Smith over my new gowns, and return home.

Hector greets me at the door looking extreme serious. Mr MacD- has called looking considerable agitated. He has put him in the parlour and had Euphemia provide him with some good strong coffee.

O dear, say I, pray let us hope that it is not some accident befallen Lord G- R-, for I heard a rumour that there was a challenge on hand about driving to Bath and back. (Though sure I can think of entirely too many disasters that may have befallen my friends.)

I hand my hat and gloves to Hector, and go into the parlour.