I venture to hold a soirée

[the_comfortable_courtesan]

I am in something of a fret concerning my soirée, for fear that this will be considered some stale entertainment that none cares for any more. My worries are a little alleviat’d by the very warm enthusiasm of Mr G- D- and the ladies towards the prospect, and indeed Miss L- informs me that Signor V- will most certainly desire to perform. Mr G- D- says that he thinks that it will be an ideal moment for Titus to make his debut - a couple of well-chosen songs that he has already been practising. Well, say I, if you think him ready.

I send out cards. I hesitate for a moment over sending one to Miss A-, but then scribble a few words on it about the conduct I expect from her. Can she not behave proper, I shall have her ejected. (Should this come to pass, no doubt it will earn me great enmity from Lady J-.)

Indeed, my dear circle are out in number this evening, I am very gratify’d to see.

I introduce Mr S- to the dear Admiral, mentioning his friend of the Hydrographick Survey and they are soon engaged in deep converse, with the Admiral explaining that, though he considers himself a fighting captain, there is very pretty sailing requir’d for the survey.

Mr N- takes my hand in both of his and informs me of the great hardships I must have experienced in my journeying, the particular sights I will have seen on the road and at Carlsbad, and all I need to do is nod occasionally and agree to his remarks. And how does that saucy minx Miss G-? he enquires at the end. O, I say, married well in a distant land.

Comes in Sir Z- R- in very buoyant mood – he has late heard from Mr T- that the latter has despatched several young wombatts with very strict instructions as to their care and feeding, and hopes that one of them may provide a suitable spouse for his own dear creature. Also the bespectacled bluestocking has been brought to bed of a fine daughter, mother and child thriving exceedingly. T- has remain’d at Port Jackson, Sir Z- R- confides, for that reason, but has taken up the matter of the bad conditions of the convicts, is writing letters to those with whom he has some interest and hoping that these may be circulated: Ha, another good cause for Lady J-, eh?

Can there be any good cause that does not have her hand in it? I enquire. (O, I am so reliev’d to hear the news of Mrs T- I can barely sustain the conversation.)

Hector shows in dear Biffle, and I go over to him. He clasps both my hands and says his dear duchess quite threw him out, said he should come here and distract his mind rather than sitting about fretting at her. For really, she has been in quite the best of health throughout, in spite of his sister’s cries of doom did she do anything but lye upon a sopha. But sure it cannot be long now. He kisses my hand, lets both drop and says, But what is this I hear about Mrs F- bearing a fine daughter?

(Sure I am beginning to wish everyone would just gossip behind my back rather than ask me what’s ado in this matter.)

I remark, as usual, that Mrs F- is quite passionately maternal.

Biffle remarks that the news is most encouraging to those that contemplate the perils of childbirth, when it was given out that all medical authority deemed her to be in quite mortal peril from lying-in. I observe to myself that he sees the matter through his own present preoccupation.

Hector then shows in Mr de C- who greets me very civil with remarks that he has long desir’d the entrée to my soirées which are everywhere commended. I take him over to Mr S-, who is having various nautical matters demonstrated to him by the Admiral with the help of the salt-cellar, pepperpot, and sauce boat, to make an introduction and mention the matter of French lessons. I add that perchance Signor V- may know of those that set up as tutors in Italian.

Biffle goes to sit at the card-table and is so distracted in his play that all the other players look at him. Mrs O’C- begins to frown upon him but recollects that he is a Duke. Sir B- W- is not thus constrain’d, nudges Biffle in the ribs and says it was just the like way with him when they were daily anticipating Lady W-'s lying-in. Mr H- remarks that he has never heard of a case in which the husband was lost: sure 'twould have been written up in the profession had there been.

We have some very pleasing musick for violin and piano from Signor V- and Miss L-; Mr G- D- and Miss McK- oblige with some songs. Mr G- D- then announces Titus, who at first looks exceeding nervous but as he commences upon singing is more at ease, and indeed, has a very fine voice. He performs a piece by Handel and also one of the songs based on an Irish air from the forthcoming opera of Mr P- and Mr G- D-. These are most well receiv’d by the company, and there is some call for an encore. Titus looks at Mr G- D- who nods and signals to Miss L- and we hear a most delightful little lullaby, which I apprehend to be the one that is his own composition.

Titus makes a polisht bow and leaves the room: I observe beyond the door the entire household cluster’d to listen. Hector, I note, smiles.

Miss McK- then concedes to Mr B-'s usual request for a Scottish air.

Lord G- R- comes in somewhat late – he has been down at A-, where Roberts has great notions concerning the gardens, and he is most exceeding grateful for my preferring of him for he has very excellent taste as well as a most remarkable understanding of plants &C: but I was, Milord says, determined to attend an occasion the like of which has been so lacking in our circles for near on a year.

A silence falls upon the room and I turn to see Miss A-, dresst extreme plain, being shown in. She makes me a deep curtesy, and then proceeds across the floor to where Miss D- is standing looking over Mr N-'s shoulder at the card-table. She holds a glass of wine and I hope that she does not fling the contents at Miss A-. I catch her eye and give her a warning frown. (For I have forewarn’d her of this possibility.)

Miss A- dips into an elegant curtesy. Dear Miss D-, she says, I know I have done that of great offence to you. I deeply regret my actions and beg your kind forgiveness.

Miss D- considers this for a moment. And I myself, she says, behav’d somewhat ill. Come, let us kiss and restore our friendship, and in future conduct ourselves according to the model of propriety set us by dear Madame C-.

I go over and smack her lightly with my fan in reproof of this flattery, and then smile upon her. Miss A-, in her role as penitent, goes about somewhat less ostentatious to make her apologies to the gentlemen. I observe Sir Z- R- explaining the history to Admiral K-.

Mr H- comes over and says that it would seem that that fellow D- has some skills in the matter of treatment of furor uterinus, for he sees Miss A- is quite cur’d of her disorder that caus’d such trouble. He gives out some professional matter upon the topick, which verges upon coarseness, and then we proceed to an appointment for me to make my acquaintance with the stuffed swan. (Sure I recollect he has so many pictures of Leda that personating them all may occupy us through several meetings.)

When Tibby brushes my hair that night she declares herself most agreeable surpriz’d at how well Titus acquit himself. Though I do not think this signifies that she has any notion towards him.

Comments

[clanwilliam]

Mr H- remarks that he has never heard of a case in which the husband was lost: sure 'twould have been written up in the profession had there been.

Mr H-, you have a wonderful wicked wit! I hope that Madame C-'s body does not betray her to your obstetrical experience.

[oursin]

Hmmmm - I think of that as one of those Tired Old Medical Jokes, but that's what working in the History of Medicine will do for you.

[perennialanna]

And of course she has miscarried once. Depending on how far gone she was then, she might well already have experienced the breast changes, which are permanent (and a result of pregnancy rather than breastfeeding, so she doesn't get out of it that way).

[kore]

Just wanted to say THANK YOU for converting the Memoirs to e-books, I have been wanting to catch up but was a bit sad abt not being able to do so continuously on my ereader, but then -- here it is! Aces!

[clanwilliam]

Aww, thanks. It actually started as me emailing Madame C- and explaining I was curious about ebook creation (work related, both directly and indirectly) and that if she wanted the fruits of my labour, I was happy to provide them.

Madame C-, a bit later, sent me a Word file that, with a bit of practice and some troubleshooting - who *would* have thought a combination of Microsoft (Word), Adobe (InDesign) and Apple (iBooks) would throw up an annoying error?

The net result is that Madame C- had volume two back in less than an hour and the biggest chunk of that was finding a suitable cover illustration!

I am the Queen of format-specific find/replace!

[azurelunatic]

I have found a singular case! And it is even related, rather than a Terrible Coincidence! https://www.medpagetoday.com/obgyn/pregnancy/1332
Someone asked him to assist by holding his wife during the epidural, he fainted at the sight of the needle, and experienced a fatal head injury in the fall. 2005, so relatively recently.

[rmc28]

What a delightful success :-)

I love the image of the household staff all listening to Titus ... even if Tibby still has no notion towards him, he surely did well and should know it.

[sharpiefan]

Dear Madame C- in a fret! O la! sure she has no need to worry, she will not have forgot how to hold a soiree. And Titus' own composition of a lullaby with the household listening in... Lovely.

[movingfinger]

I suspect that all the remarks to Mme C about Mrs F bearing a fine daughter may be hints that Mme C is not nearly as crafty as she thinks she is.