the_comfortable_courtesan

I go to the kitchen to commend Euphemia for the pique-nique which was most highly prais’d by Lord G- R- and several of his empty-headed wastrel set. And I suppose, I say, I should be thinking about holding a soirée, can I find some time when the ladies and Mr G- D- would be at liberty to perform. Tonight I expect the Admiral again, if you could prepare a currie and the mutton kabobs in the Hindoostanee style, I think he would very much appreciate that.

Phoebe comes in – she is very good about helping Euphemia over the household books - and I convey Mr de C-‘s message. Well, she says, sure I should have no objection to sitting to him again, for even tho’ he is a Frenchman, he is very well-behav’d. Indeed, say I, I think I shall send him a card for my next soirée.

I go back above-stairs and Hector says Mr MacD- has called, and he has already admitted him to the parlour being such a frequent caller.

I open the door and see Sandy standing by the window, perusing what I think to be Mr T-'s essays. Really, thinks I, he is a pretty fellow, and were I a silly young creature, or one that did not know the inwardness of the matter, I might take a fancy to him. Tho’ by now I am wise enough in the ways of Venus that I would not waste my time where I see such indifference to my charms, which could only bring distress. Sure there are gentlemen enough who are sensible of them, even if they would never seek my favours (I have seen Mr S- look upon me with great appreciation, but is not one that would stray from his wife).

Sandy looks up and says that he had thought that the matters requested by Miss G- for despatch to New South Wales were extreme curious requirements for a convict woman, but he now comes to the understanding that Carlsbad was in fact Port Jackson. G- has mentioned to him Miss G-'s quite remarkable skills at the card-table, not to mention, her ability at calculating the odds at the race-meetings she us’d to attend with Sir B- W-. He has also noted that the portrait of Miss G- by Sir Z- R- in my possession accords strangely close with Mr S-'s friend Mr C-'s account of the wife of Mr T-. He therefore confides that she was the mysterious mathemetickal miss that Mr T- wed so discreet before departing for the antipodes. He holds up the essays. And these, I think, provide yet further evidence.

My dear Sandy, say I, sure your capacity for sounding out a mystery is quite unparallel’d. Indeed my dear friend is now the wife of that very excellent fellow Mr T-, who greatly appreciates her worth. (O, I think, I hope she still is, for the last I heard she was breeding and I cannot be sanguine about a confinement amongst convicts.) You can quite imagine why this is kept so secret.

He agrees that it is a matter in which discretion is most desirable. Euphemia brings in coffee and I wave him to sit down.

After she has gone, he remarks that G- said I was very greatly affect’d by the play last night? O, says I, Shakspeare’s moving tragedy provided a plausible veil for my sadness over my sweet Flora.

I have a little concern, says Sandy after a pause, that by some means or other, the F-s perhaps prevail’d upon you in the matter against what you would truly have wisht, at a time when, ah –

Women are suppos’d to be more than usual volatile in their minds? I say. O, how can you suppose that they would ever do anything contrary to my own will?

I do not doubt Mr F-'s feelings towards you, but I confess I cannot understand the mixing up of his wife in the matter. She seems to be a commanding woman much in style of the terrifying virago Lady J-, and –

I do not know whether to laugh or break out in sobs. My darling who can be made to melt by certain kisses in particular parts of her person (there is a spot upon her neck where I apply my lips to make her quiver in a most pleasing fashion), who is in the style of Lady J- in a manner he sure cannot suspect. Mrs F-, I say, trying to maintain a sober demeanour, is one of the finest women in creation and sure I could not have given Flora into better hands.

(Our secret is not all my own to reveal.)

He turns on me a penetrating look. Oh, I say, please do not suppose me in the position of one that has been prevail’d upon under constraint to surrender her child to the Foundling Hospital. Sure there is much benefit on my own side and for my sweet Flora to this arrangement.

He smiles somewhat crook’d and says that he never trusts me when I am being rational and suspects that there is something behind.

We then proceed to dispatching the business on which he came, about the propos’d letting of the Surrey place to Mr S-'s acquaintance. He mentions that until the S-s can find a tutor that has native facility in the tongue - they are also looking about for tutors in French and Italian if I know of any seeking such work - he is helping Miss K- with her German studies, which is very useful in polishing up his own command of the language. I cannot suppose this a prudent proceeding, but find myself at a loss to know how to convey a suitable warning.

I later dress very quiet and take myself to the theatre to confront Miss A-. The rehearsal is not quite done, and my friends among the scene-shifters, dressers, &C direct me to a seat in the gallery where I may observe without being seen.

It is a remarkable thing how serious and sober Miss A- can be when she is about the business of her art: Mr J- at times becomes quite irate but she shows neither tears nor tantrums, applying herself to resolving the difficulties.

I see that they are about to break up for the moment, and I go backstage to bribe Maggie to let me into Miss A-'s dressing-room. I sit down in the chair and observe myself in the mirror and consider that I am really in reasonable looks and do not show the effects of the past year.

I hear the door, open, stand and turn.

Miss A- sinks to kneel at my feet. Very affecting, say I in my dryest tones. What is this I hear from all sides about your extraordinary vulgar behaviour?

Miss A- begins to babble about Miss M-.

Yes, yes, I say, I am appriz’d of the matter of Miss M-. What I should desire to know is why you went flaunting around in a manner that any Covent Garden Miss would consider in the poorest ton, making up to the gentlemen of our set yet declining what was surely the acceptable offer you were looking for from Lord G- R-. Sure were I Lady J- I would be going about to get you thrown into a House of Correction or perchance convey’d to that madhouse of which Mr H- speaks so highly.

Miss A-, who has shown the beginnings of theatrickal tears, looks up at me in shock. O, she cries, dearest Madame C-, please forgive me.

I go on: you have gone about to offend or embarrass so many of our set, ‘twould certainly cause adverse comment did I continue to admit you to my circle.

This evokes real and unbecoming tears. I let her sniffle and snuffle and sob for a while.

There is one thing, I say when the storm shows signs of abating. I am not the most injur’d party here. Should you make a publick apology to Miss D- -

But –

Sure she was entirely provok’d, I say. Make a publick apology to Miss D- and also – tho’ you may do this more private – convey your regrets for your vulgarity of conduct to the gentlemen of our set to whom you behav’d like a common streetwalker. Then perhaps you may be readmitt’d to the outskirts of my favour. I look down upon her. Sure you make a charming penitent, but I am not Lady J- and am harder to beguile.

O, you are cruel, sobs Miss A-.

Only to be kind, my dear. This sort of behaviour will not do. I put on my cloak. Think on it, child. One that has been described as a charming child may find that her repute has become that of a tiresome brat. Also, you are reaching years when a child-like air comes to seem an affectation.

Going out, I run into Mr J-. He hopes that I have not reduc’d Miss A- to a condition that renders her unfit to take the stage this e’en. No condition, I say, renders Miss A- unfit to take the stage. He concedes that I may well have hit it off.

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davidgillon

Can there be a better friend than Sandy?

(Though an unfortunately perceptive one when trying to retain secrets).

And such an appropriate remonstrance with Miss A, and a punishment that may indeed help her mature (though she is sufficient an actress that may not be the case).