I must take thought for the future

[the_comfortable_courtesan]

Seraphine comes to me privily as I am alone with my adored Flora. Madame, she says, I suppose that you shall be returning to Town in due course. I concede that I cannot see remaining in Surrey as though the house and grounds are exceeding pretty, it would be a sad dull place for the likes of me even without Mr G- creeping around.

She looks at Flora and says, you know I should be quite happy to keep her with me while she is nursing. Town, especially with the summer coming, is not at all healthfull for infants.

Dear Seraphine, I respond, I am entirely sensible of your devotion (which sure I do not deserve) but I feel that this is a matter over which your husband might have some opinions.

Oh, she replies, I have discusst the matter with Roberts and he is quite in accordance.

That is extreme accommodating of him, I say, looking down at Flora waving her little hands. I am still in somewhat of a dither about what I shall do now. My health is far from fully restor’d and I contemplate going to Harrogate to recruit on leaving here.

I wisht to let you know, madame, in order to assist in your decisions.

That is most kind, I say, I will indeed bear it in my considerations. I can see my little darling making hungry faces, may I give her to you?

Seraphine takes her with a very tender look. I feel a little tearfull.

I walk along to the trophy room, because I left the task of packing up the curios when my pains began, and suppose that this still needs to be done. I feel that I have no occupation: I cannot write my memoir in company, I have no desire to pick up my embroidery, I do not need to stitch little dresses for Flora because Docket, Phoebe and the girls already have her well supply’d with garments, also Seraphine has those Julius has outgrown. I am a sad useless creature.

Mrs F- is in the trophy room. The cabinets are emptied and several packing cases stand on the floor. O, say I, how came this?

Dearest, says my darling, giving me a kiss, this was one thing to keep idle hands busy during your indisposition. I think these are the things you reserv’d for yourself?

Yes, I say, the painting of the General’s dear bibi - was she not a handsome creature? Sure I wonder if jewels in the nose would take as a new fashion – the lady that rides a tiger, and the dear elephants. My love, I should like you to have the elephants, for I am sure your children would like them extremely.

My very own dearest, says my love, surely that is too valuable a gift. But she looks at them somewhat wistfull. No, please, I say, I want you to have them. And, I say, quickly, before I can stop myself, there is another precious thing I wish you to have.

Mrs F-‘s eyes turn from the contemplation of the elephants to mine.

My little darling needs a mother that knows how to take care of her, I say. One that can tell what it is that her crying signifies. She needs her doating father more than very occasional. Please, my love, will you take her as your daughter?

Mrs F- gasps and then falls into my arms, sobbing greatly. Oh, my own dearest, I have so envied you her, I have not dared even offer for I knew you would see how quite desperate my longing is. Please do not feel oblig’d to give her up, for I know you.

I should like my daughter, I say, to have a better life than that of the bastard child of a w---e. (Mrs F- makes protesting noises, but this is no subject on which to be over-nice. I know well enough how the world rates me and would value Flora.) I know our dear Grand Turk will be everything that is generous in provision, but even so... I should so greatly desire her to be known as of a wealthy and respectable family that is received in good society, to have brothers and sisters, &C. I do not think, I add, even so, I could give her up to any but my dearest loves, because I find myself so exceeding fond of her. But really, it would not do. I have been fortunate, but my life is precarious: I know not whether, when I go back to Town, I shall be oblig'd to start building up a connection all over again.

We cling together both extreme tearfull.

Oh my very dearest, you must know that the answer is yes. Our dearest has expresst to me already that we should offer, but I have kept saying that I could not bear to take her if you had a mind to keep her, and yet sure I could not conceal my own yearning did we open the matter.

We kiss very warmly.

And you will also take the elephants? I say as we draw apart, conscious that any moment someone may come in upon us. For I should so like dear Flora to play with them - that is, once she is old enough to handle them very carefull. Mrs F- laughs somewhat feebly and says, yes, she will also take the elephants.

Comments

[nenya_kanadka]

That does make the elephants seem a tiny gift by comparison! Ahhh, this scene. I am a bit tearful myself.

And true, young Miss Flora's life will be quite different with this acknowledged parentage. I am sure Mme C-'s darlings will be sure she sees her daughter often, though it must be a wrench even so.

Harrogate seems like a good plan.

[sjkasabi]

*sniff^

all as it should be, but *sniff*, *dabs eyes with hanky*

[clanwilliam]

Yep. *passes more hankies*

[ankaret]

*hanky please*

Though this does scupper my possible Yuletide work in which Mr Quintus F- falls for a mysterious, radiantly blonde young lady who is claimed to have been brought up on the Continent.

[nanila]

*blinks furiously* I thought pollen season was over, but apparently not.

[davidgillon]

Daaawwww!

I think the country idyll may be drawing to a close, and we have still the final disposition of Seraphine and Roberts, and the long term disposition of the house to consider.

[clanwilliam]

Lord G- R- needs a head gardener and has always yearned to hire Seraphine…

[davidgillon]

Oh, well observed!

Although on reflection I think most of Madame C's circle, not to mention anyone else who has ever tasted one of her confections, yearns to hire Seraphine!

[nineveh_uk]

Ahhh! I am glad that it seems this can be resolved happily enough on all sides. No doubt Aunt C- will be much beloved.

[clanwilliam]

One thing that strikes me as someone who has no children and did not want to be a mother, but who is married to a man and has had shit from loads of people over our mutual decision not to procreate, is how much crap you get. I've howled and berated the heavens over a friend's yet-another-miscarriage (and fed her unsuitable-for-pregnancy foods that she likes immediately after); I have genuinely and sincerely offered my eggs to a friend (and made it clear that I knew what I'd have to do to my lifestyle and my health for that) and yet I am selfish for not mindlessly procreating.

It's not quite the Madame C- situation, but this shows up the ambiguity of childbearing and reasons for doing it so subtly and so well.

Is Flora's middle name Felicity?

[rhivolution]

Indeed on this! Also I wonder the same about young Flora.