A matter of domestick disruption

Hector comes to me, and says, do we go about to have workmen in the place (for it has at length been conclud’d that we should hire painters) he does not know if Dorcas has already spoke to me on the subject but there are several other little matters that might be dealt with at the same time. Sure if the household is going to be in uproar, let us have it all done at once.

Why, Hector, says I, that is a very prudent thought, for now you and Euphemia are in the mews cottage – I hope it answers? -

Most exceedingly, says Hector.

- there should be some thought given to the disposition of the bedchambers. I am in some consideration whether 'twould be possible to turn one into a guest-room.

Hector looks considering, and then says he will go convoke with Dorcas and the others, for he apprehends that there are various changes they might think desirable.

He then goes on to say, Your Ladyship, if the household is going to be disarrang’d for a little while, you might wish to consider going on a visit out of the trouble.

This is a thought that had indeed occur’d to me. I wonder whether 'twould be a good time to go visit Belinda in Northamptonshire, but I am a little reluctant to be altogether out of Town while 'tis the Season.

I therefore go call at R- House, where the footman tells me that Mrs F- is closeted with Dawkins just at present. O, says I, I will go up to the schoolroom then.

In the schoolroom the girls sit at one end of the table having their German lesson with Fraulein H-, and at the other Miss N- is hearing Quintus reading in Little Charles, which he does exceeding well. I greet them all and say I will not disturb their labours but go up and peep into the nursery.

I go up to the nursery, where my precious jewel is playing exceeding pretty with Hannah and Julius. Patty looks upon them fondly.

My adorable Flora comes running to me and demands to be pickt up and kisst, and also desires me to kiss Hannah, that is a sweet shy solemn-fac’d creature. Julius is still in dresses but I daresay already thinks such demonstrations unfitt’d to his sex.

My darling then desires me to be a tiger, which I am ever happy to concede to, and all three join in the romping with me.

Comes my dearest Eliza into the nursery and offers to shoot this wick’d tiger, which Flora will ever protest.

She is most reluctant to see me go, tugging upon my skirt, o, 'tis quite the sweetest thing.

O, most excellent tiger, says Eliza as we descend the stairs, this is indeed a pleasure, for I know how many matters Lady B- has on hand now she is return’d to Town –

Sure, says I, the way people speak, one would think I have been away these several months rather than a bare se’ennight!

Eliza laughs and says, why, she knows not how matters can get on if the cleverest of C-s is absent.

Teazing wretch! says I. But my darling, you must tell me does what I propose not answer.

I open to her the matter of the domestick disruption there is like to be in my own house, that will make it very uncomfortable to live in the while. Now, my darling, says I, quite naturally my first thought was that I might come here for the duration of the business, but indeed I should not like to impose, and I daresay I could go into Northamptonshire for a few days, tho’ 'tis possible that as we are now well into the racing season t’other Lady B- may be from home.

O, I see that our darling has her pathetick Dido in the ruins of Carthage expression, sure would it not shock the servants I should go about to tickle you, for how should we not entirely welcome a visit from our very loveliest of C-s? 'Tis a most ideal time for it: the boys come home for a little while, Mr A- makes his visit, and above all, she continues, I am most entire in the frets as Lady J- goes about to present me at Court. Now she has made her own curtesy in the character of a marry’d woman, she turns her mind to this, and I am to and fro from Madame Lisette’s to have my court dress made.

She sighs. Sure I can see that 'tis a most suitable thing to do, but indeed I quite have nightmares of falling upon my face or doing something dreadfull.

Oho, says I, my wild girl will look quite entirely the thing, I confide, and conduct herself as if she is not a naughty wick’d creature when she comes to the Drawing Room.

We go into the family room and Eliza adds that our dearest Grand Turk has several speeches he purposes to make, and 'twould be most material to have on hand the author of those fine plays with such telling speeches to advise him.

Why, can this silly creature - Eliza nudges me somewhat vigorous in the ribs – be of any use, sure, put me to the task and I will do what I can.

She looks at her desk and says there is nothing there but what may wait. She confides that it will have already been convey’d to the kitchen that she has company, and there will be some collation laid in the dining-room, to demonstrate the consequence of the household.

Well, my love, says I, let us go make some effort at eating it, tho’ I daresay there will be enough for a regiment laid, and then I will go home, be about some matters I have on hand – I am going to go sit - or perchance stand - to Mr de C- in my Neapolitan garb, tho’ I daresay this will be the first of some several visits.

Oh, cries Eliza, I do not think you have seen the fine painting he made of the girls? 'Tis all finisht and varnisht and fram’d and now hangs in the parlour.

So we go into the parlour and indeed 'tis a most excellent fine painting of the girls, sitting upon the ground and making daisy-chains, and my adorable Flora with a crown of daisies that sits just a little lopsid’d.

Oh, I say, oh, that quite exceeds.

- but also, I go on, I must be about preparing for my visit here, tho’ indeed, I can always send is there some matter I have not got with me that I require. O, and while I am here, have had the most civil response from Mr H- about Mr A-, would be entirely happy to have him come watch an operation and would be delight’d to show him some cases of interest, take him about to some meetings of the profession, &C, while he is in Town tho’ regrets that he is not undertaking any dissections at present, even are the bodies quite legitimate obtain’d, on account of the bad feeling this body-snatching business has caus’d.

Why, that is most civil from a fellow in Mr H-'s position.

O, indeed he has a kind heart altho’ his manner can seem so brusque and blunt.

So after a very agreeable while with my darling gossiping over the collation, I return home and inform my people of the plan to have me out of the house during improvements. Docket comes with me, and recommends to me that she bring Sophy, 'twill be most excellent instructive for her. Hector says that he will send Timothy daily with any post and any messages about the business in hand, then reconsiders and says that if the F- boys will be at home, he will bring any messages and will be about giving them a little instruction in the pugilistick art.

Then I go to Mr de C-'s studio so that he can have some preliminary thoughts upon how I might be present’d. He comes to the conclusion that indeed my picturesque Neapolitan peasant dress will show more effective do I stand, makes some sketches, and says perhaps I could convoke with Phoebe about when I might come again? She is the one keeps his calendar.

So I go see Phoebe and we have a conclave on the matter. I ask how she does and she smiles and says, o, quite exceeding well tho’ 'tis a very lively infant that sometimes keeps her wakefull.

I confide, says I, that 'twas quite the best thing to bustle Hector into marriage.

Phoebe laughs and says, indeed, 'twas, and she sees how exceeding happy the pair of them now are. She has been to take tea with Euphemia in the mews cottage, that is a pretty little place and so extreme convenient. But she thinks Euphemia should get some girl to come in to undertake household matters, for she is quite busy enough about her kitchen work.

I will take that in advizance, says I, but 'twould be entirely prudent. Sure there must be some girls in the neighbourhood that are not yet old enough to go out into a place, and this would be an excellent thing for one of them.

And what is this, says Phoebe, that Euphemia tells me that she and Seraphine go about to make quite a business in their receipts?

Indeed, says I, 'tis all done very business-like and prudent with contracts. Phoebe looks thoughtfull and I mind me that she had some most excellent polishes &C that she would make up.

She conveys her very best wishes towards the members of my household, and we kiss farewell.