the_comfortable_courtesan

Ajax remarks to me that Jezebel grows a little restive in her stable; sure did I have opportunity to take her out for however short a ride 'twould improve her spirits considerable.

So when there is a fine clear morning I go wrap up against the wind and take my sweet Jezzie-girl for a little excursion into the Park. There are few enough other riders, and I have a most agreeable canter that I confide she enjoys.

I bring her back to a trot, and purpose to cool her a little before we return home, and then I see a gentleman that endeavours to catch my attention. I observe that he rides upon Orion and in due course I make him out to be Lord U-.

I greet him extreme civil and ask how he likes Town after his travels, to which he replies that they spent little enough time here that 'tis almost as strange to him as any place they visit’d.

But, Lady B-, he says, I apprehend you have become quite the confidante of my mother and my sisters, and sure there are matters in the family that I should like to discuss with some person of judgement.

Is not Sir C- F- a person of judgement? I ask with a smile.

Oh, indeed he is, but has not been an intimate of the household this while: has gone rusticate upon his estate and will describe himself as a country squire, tho’ indeed, his notions upon agricultural improvements are greatly esteem’d – we were ever running into fellows that desir’d talk with him about such things. The finest of fellows, but has not seen how things are lately.

Why, says I, I would not disclose any secrets disclos’d to me in confidence, but indeed, I have been like to think that there are matters that might be improv’d -

Perchance, says he, 'tis I have grown us’d to the fine modish women we encounter’d in our travels, but are not my sisters dreadfull dowds?

I look at him most approving, and say, I apprehend that their wardrobes were chose for them by their aunt, that is now gone to Bombay?

He groans and says 'twas so, but sure, one would suppose that they could now take some advice from Her Grace of M-, that is so exceeding well turn’d out.

Indeed, says I, she is entire in the crack of fashion, but her father, as I daresay you know, is exceeding wealthy and provid’d her with an excellent portion upon her marriage – and even had he not, His Grace is not a man who would stint his wife’s dress allowance. Also, she has a most exceeding fine lady’s maid.

He groans again.

But, says I, do we linger here talking we will become extreme chill’d. Do you come with me and take a little breakfast, and we may discuss these matters.

This brings him to a laugh and the opinion that Geoff will be most exceeding jealous.

So we return to my pretty house, and he looks about him as we go in and says, sure 'tis no wonder that the Marquess of O- desires your opinions on furbishing up O- House.

'Tis exceeding civil of you to say so, says I. I turn to Hector and say Euphemia may send up breakfast as soon as maybe.

We go into my parlour and he looks about it with great pleasure. What exceeding fine china, he says, we saw a deal of fine china on our travels.

And books, he goes on, then looks around and says, sure this is very agreeable.

I look at him somewhat severe and say that I daresay he will have been appriz’d of Lady B-'s occupation before she wed the late Marquess. 'Tis most material to that trade to have an agreeable parlour to entertain in. (For has he not heard, I think it only prudent to let him know.)

But, I go on, I like to have a pleasing parlour to sit in myself.

Comes Celeste with coffee and some fresh hot muffins, butter, and some of Euphemia’s best preserves, and says there is more to come.

I pour coffee, and desire him to help himself to these fine muffins.

I see that he has a healthy young fellow’s taste for 'em.

He looks up and says, 'tis by no means the main matter I wisht to breach with you, but Geoff is very put about concerning this rumour that you will go marry Lord A-. For indeed, he is a fine sportsman and not’d dandy, but a very un-idea’d fellow, an entire fribble.

I laugh somewhat immoderate and say, sure I have no intention to go marry Lord A-, an agreeable enough fellow that dances exceeding well, but was I to marry him I have no doubt I should be oblig’d to go watch him play cricket all summer, and I should quite expire of boredom.

Lord U- laughs exceedingly at this. May I set Geoff’s mind at rest?

Indeed, says I. I have heard that this on-dit goes around, I know not why. Sure he show’d me a little attention at Lord and Lady G-s’ rout of late, but 'twas entire civility, no more.

Come Euphemia and Celeste with a deal of fine dishes of eggs, bacon, mushrooms, devill’d kidneys, &C, and more muffins. Lord U-'s eyes grow wide.

You do not need to eat it all, says I: 'twill all get eat up somehow.

He helps himself to a very generous platefull and says that he has heard of the remarkable talents of my cook.

There is somewhat of silence as we eat our breakfast. At length he says sure I will think he is most incivil.

Not at all, says I, some matters are better discuss’d on a full stomach rather than hungry.

He wipes his mouth upon the napkin and drinks some coffee. Lady B-, he says, I have heard nothing but excellent report of you. You are quite the greatest favourite of my mother and sisters, that fine fellow Sebastian K- will have it that was it not for you, his sister would have marry’d that bigamous fellow that is now clappt up in Bedlam, instead of His Grace of M-.

Why, says I, I am exceeding fond of Lady N- and your sisters and sure the Duchess of M- is quite one of my greatest friends.

This matter of Nan’s marriage – he begins, and then falls silent. He then starts again and says, he has now met the Marquess of O- and finds him an excellent fine fellow, cannot see what objection she might have to him.

Hmm, says I. Sure 'tis rather abrupt to tell a young woman that her marriage has been arrang’d, will-she nil-she, to a fellow that she has never even seen about in Society. But I hear that there is no immediate wedding plann’d, so that they may get to know one another afore they exchange vows?

He sighs. She shows so sullen towards him in company, and I think he goes have second thoughts. He clears his throat. I know you said you would not disclose any secrets told you, but is there some other fellow she gives preference to?

Not in the least! says I. Or, if there is, she has manag’d to keep the matter most exceeding close, for she has told neither your mama nor myself, and I confide had she open’d such a preference to Her Grace, that is more of an age with her, the Duchess would have come seek my advice. But, perchance if she observes that you take a liking to the Marquess, 'twill ease her concerns over the union. Do you go talk to her and tell her that you are prepossest by him, she may disclose the source of her dislike.

That is a good plan, he says. But the other and heavier matter is my father’s shocking stinginess toward Mama and my sisters. Sure he could well afford to provide Mama with a fine comfortable invalid carriage, 'twould make quite the greatest difference to her; and similarly to dress my sisters more suitable to ladies of their station that go about Society during the Season will not bring him to ruin. 'Twould not, he goes in angry tones, affect his own expenditure upon plants and seeds and fine volumes of botanickal prints -

And botanickal expeditions in distant parts, I add.

Say you so?

Certainly gave material assistance to the Marquess before his elevation.

Indeed! cries Lord U-, sure he keeps such matters close.

O, says I, I confide 'tis very widely known among the botanickal set, for Lord Anthony, as was, named several species after him.

'Tis quite shocking, says he. What can one do?

Why, says I, you are his heir, which is a not inconsiderable thing, and you have a very pretty concern for your mama and your sisters, and perchance do you go make diplomatick representations about this very eccentrique behaviour of his, he may see that does no credit at all to his antient name, and sure 'twill not see him in debtors’ prison does Lady N- be driven around in comfort and do his daughters dress so they will not be the laughing-stock of the Season.

He looks a little dubious and says, sure he will try.

Indeed, says I, such an opening to him of your concerns is entirely the best means of initial assault; most proper.

And if he will not hear me?

Then, says I, one must go consider other stratagems.

He looks at me across the table. But, sure, if the Earl may brought to a more generous habit by representations from his heir, I need not bring Molly Binns into play at all.

Lord U- sighs and pushes back from the table. That was an exceeding fine breakfast, says he. And while I am here, he goes on, who is this MacD- that Geoff talks of nigh as much as he does of you? and has brought him to habits of serious reading and study?

I go descant considerable upon Sandy’s merits, the very great esteem he commands among our circles &C&C.