the_comfortable_courtesan

Is deliver’d to me one forenoon a little note from Lady T-, saying that she has receiv’d the proofs of her work upon lace and quite begging my assistance in the matter.

Sure, thinks I, can be quite daunting the first time one sees such a thing, and sure I was extreme fortunate in having Sandy’s guidance upon the business. I write and say, alas, today I am oblig’d to be about business of the optickal dispensary, but could come tomorrow.

She finds this quite answerable and so the following afternoon I take myself to T- House, where I find Lady T- in her parlour looking a little distraught. She looks exceeding pleas’d to see me.

O, Lady B-, she cries, sure I confide that you will know about this matter, for indeed it puzzles me.

I desire her to show me the proofs, and indeed, I do not perceive any great matter to be put about over; but I daresay 'tis the strangeness that troubles her. I go explain to her how one may mark errours - tho’, says I, 'tis a fine accurate piece of work, there will always be some go creep in.

She rings for tea and then says, seeing the matter in print makes her consider over how ambitious she has been.

Do not despair, Lady T-, says I: sure the extreme fine observation that you take to lace-making will serve you well at this task.

She of a sudden smiles and says, she dares say: and with lace there is no such chance to correct errours. Indeed you are kind to a cross-grain’d old woman.

Poo, says I, you do yourself injustice.

O, she says, I have some apprehension of how I am spoke of behind my back. Indeed, do I not note the buzz of conversation fall silent when I enter a room?

Sure, says I, 'tis known that you have excellent high notions of good ton, and I daresay those that go gossip or talk frivolity become conscious that they lapse from that standard.

She sighs a little. Dear Lady B-, she says, what is’t about you that so many find they may open their hearts to you?

Perchance, says I, 'tis because I learnt in my former life the value of discretion: for a lady of the demimonde that discloses secrets of her patrons or goes gossip upon them will soon find them fall away. Tho’, I continue, sure there are those save up such matters so that they may go write scandalous memoirs in their old age.

Why, says she, I had never thought of that, but indeed 'tis sound business practice. But, my dear, has Lord K- ever open’d his heart to you? I wish he would, has he not, for I am sure you would give him the most excellent counsel as a lady that knows a deal of the world.

He has not, says I.

'Tis pity, she says. For 'tis not as tho’ he has masculine intimates, either.

Even had he so, says I, 'tis most rare that gentlemen will feel easy in disclosing the innermost secrets of their hearts to other fellows.

She sighs, and we turn once more to looking over the proofs.

At length comes in Lord T-, and greets me very civil, while desiring his wife not to strain her eyes over-much, now it grows dark so early. Sure he manifests a fine affection towards her.

She rings for fresh tea; unless he should prefer a little brandy?

'Tis not yet cold enough for that, he replies. Has just been at R- House about a conclave of their politickal set: here is the Marquess of O-, inclines towards them, but has been out of England a good deal, requires informing of the issues. Adviz’d him to consult with MacD- about some fellow that could act his politickal secretary. Finds that Mr C-, that was preferr’d to him by MacD-, answers most exceedingly.

Comes in fresh tea, and the candles are lit.

Lady T- says that Lady B- has been most infinite helpful over these proofs. Sure she sees now how to continue.

The door opens and comes in Lord K-, that blinks a little at the sight of me but makes civil.

I say that sure I have linger’d long enough: does Lady T- require any further assistance with her proofs, to call upon my services at once; and take my leave.

Lord T- shows gracious in escorting me to the door and waiting while I put on my tippet and bonnet, while expressing his gratitude that I come keep Lady T- company and sooth her worries over this fine book she goes to make.

And an exceeding fine volume 'twill be, says I.

When I arrive home I go change, and Docket is extreme put about that I have left the matter so late.

Really, Docket, says I, an entire informal little evening party at M- House? Sure 'tis not an occasion for a display of finery.

Docket snorts and says that even so, My Ladyship should be well-turn’d-out, shows respect to the company.

Sure, Docket, you are quite correct, but when do you ever let me out other than well-turn’d-out?

Sophy looks exceeding amuz’d.

I contemplate my reflexion in my fine pier-glass, and confide that I am turn’d out entire suitable to the occasion.

Has been impresst upon me that 'twill be an entire friendly gathering of our set at M- House, quite informal, good conversation, a fine supper, mayhap Her Grace will play a little and Mrs O- B- agree to sing, perchance a little dancing does the company feel inclin’d, to introduce around the Marquess of O-.

'Tis Thomas keeps the door when I arrive: I smile upon him and says I hope that he and Jennie do well, while conveying him a compliment. Indeed, he says, and Phillips shows most exceeding kind to her.

The party takes place in one of the fine reception rooms – sure we should be quite lost in the ballroom. 'Twould be entire vanity to go glide in like a swan, however much my darlings admire the effect do I so.

Most of the company is already gather’d, and converse amiably among themselves in several groups.

Biffle and Viola are talking to the Marquess: Viola is telling him that sure, Lady Anna cannot be so very young, has been out at least two seasons already: tho’ 'tis true that her aunt, that is now gone to Bombay, had somewhat fusty notions and she may not have had a very wide experience of Society.

Biffle says, his arm going around Viola’s waist, that just because a lady is young, does not mean that she does not have good sense. At least, he has found that so. Viola looks up at him very fond, and says, sure, with a good husband to guide her, a young lady may come into good practices and habits.

To guide, says I, not rule. Do we not observe how much happyer Lord and Lady D- are now that he does not lay down severe rules of conduct?

Biffle says, he is not the one in their household that will lay down rules. He and Viola look at one another and both laugh a little.

And have you heard from Lady J- in Harrogate? I ask.

Indeed, says Viola, writes that she finds Dr J- answers just as Mrs F- suppos’d he would; the waters are quite disgusting to drink but doubtless do her a deal of good; Miss A- is not only much acclaim’d for her performances but greatly askt about to give readings for the benefit of good causes.

They turn away as Lord and Lady D, with Miss S-, are shown in. I go recount to the Marquess somewhat of Lady J-'s history, as I could see him wear the expression of one that hears others recount matter where the persons are already so well-known that the slightest allusion has meaning, but 'twill be quite baffling to one that knows the matter not.

Talking of readings, he says, when I have finisht, there is an on-dit that Lady B- is quite renown’d for her readings from Shakspeare, and has been mention’d that we may have that pleasure this e’en?

O, the weasels! I cry. Sure I daresay they already have the fine volume out ready.

Sure 'tis a most agreeable e’en. There is a little dancing, but as Susannah and Lady Z- both declare that they are not dancing at present – Lady D-, that is not so far along, concedes to dance a little – and Viola plays the piano for us – there is a shortage of ladies that may partner the gentlemen. (Alas, thinks I, that Milord and Sandy may not dance together, for I am sure that would be an exceeding fine sight.)

Mrs O- B- has brought her musick and obliges us with a few songs.

After supper, Sandy is persuad’d to read some Burns, and I concede to read a little from the Bard. Since Lord D- and his womenfolk have already heard me give my fam’d Juliet’s Nurse, and 'tis so greatly lik’d by my friends, I present that, along with some other passages.

While I am reading that fine speech concerning The barge she sat in, there is some knocking upon the outer door and someone speaking loudly, tho’ not so loud that we may hear the words.

The door of the reception room opens and enters Admiral K-.

How now, he says – somewhat moderating the quarterdeck tones we heard just now – where is m’wife?