Unhistoric Acts (27)

Would become a fine play from A Lady Anonyma in due course

O, but it was entirely charming to see Leda dressed in masculine garb! Quite delightful!

Yes, my love, said Clorinda, I think you have caught the knack of it very apt – have the right walk – not too much of a swagger – may come about to serve very well – one must only hope that does not happen as in plays that you have some Phoebe falling at your feet –

Indeed there was something very alluring at the sight – she had never particularly inclined to young men, unlike Honora Zellen – but there was – perchance 'twas because she knew the truth of the matter –

Would be very embarrassing! said Leda, beginning to remove her trousers. But sure 'tis convenient wear –

Clorinda gave a little snort of laughter and said, she fancied Flora could make a fiery speech on the theme of that being the reason why women were forbid to wear 'em – though sure, 'twas only in these lands, and in Turkey the ladies wore trousers though they were a deal fuller –

They went downstairs hand in hand, for this was Clorinda’s Shropshire hunting-box and entire Liberty-Hall, none to see 'em except Portly the tom-cat and Wowskie the little black spaniel upon the hearth-rug.

Clorinda sat herself down upon the sopha, and patted the place beside her, but Leda curled up on the floor and rested her head in her lap with a little contented sigh. Sure, she said, 'tis agreeable to have this little time to ourselves, out of company. I fear you indulge me.

Not in the least! Clorinda ran her fingers through the short silky locks of hair – now Leda no longer coloured her hair that startling red, and took Sophy’s advice on washes and brushing &C, 'twas very pleasant to the touch. Had to come make my usual visit to see about the mine and other matters, arrange an ox-roast and village feast so that they may drink the health of the Marquess and little Lord Tasselwyke, and it provides opportunity for you to ask about concerning that wicked mining engineer fellow that wronged Ellen.

Leda made a small purring sound, and said, should be about that.

And while I think on’t – have not yet asked – how did Lady Trembourne come on?

Why, one can tell is not used to such things – but had a determination, I confide will go away and practise.

And was civil to you?

Why, I could see was not used to being lessoned, but bore it well.

So! mayhap that leopard had changed her spots! Clorinda looked down at her beloved, and thought that they might enjoy, for a few days, a little leisure to engage in amorous pursuits. Sure, they were new enough lovers still that there had been embraces enough during their journeyings, but under somewhat of constraint. Had been one reason for making her excuses to Rebecca Nuttenford!

She stooped to kiss Leda, just as Wowzkie roused, and outside could be heard the barking of one or other of Raggle’s outdoor dogs, and was that the sound of horses and a carriage?

Leda lifted her head and smoothed back her hair and came to sit very precise and demure upon the sopha. Was we expecting company? she said with a frown, as Portly stirred and stretched and hissed.

Not in the least! Clorinda rose and went to her traveling desk upon the table and took out her little pistol – Leda’s eyebrows rose. Mayhap some traveler gone astray, she said, and sure there are the dogs, and Raggle is a stout fellow, but I will be prepared for eventualities. She went out into the hall, to observe Sophy pattering down the stairs to see what was ado.

And la, there was Raggle, that the dogs’ barking had brought from whatever he was about, throwing open the door and saying, here was a young lady and her maid, begged hospitality of Her Ladyship –

A distraught-looking Lady Rachel Merrett and her maid Umphlinge – Clorinda squinted a little to see whether that was all, or whether she was being made confederate in an elopement, but there was no sight of Artie Demington, just the two women and their boxes.

Come in, my dear, said Clorinda – Sophy, do you take Umphlinge upstairs and take care of her – Dorrie, she went on, for Eppie and Dorrie had come out of the kitchen to observe the scene, do you bring tea and cake, and I daresay there will be enough to go round for dinner?

They nodded, and all dispersed about this business, and Clorinda conducted Lady Rachel into the sitting-room and helped her to take her hat and outer garments off. Lady Rachel then went burst into tears and sobbed for a while on Clorinda’s shoulder, but regained command of herself when Dorrie came in with tea and a cake-stand. Leda meanwhile was behaving in the fashion of a secretary quietly being about her duties in a corner of the room, very discreet.

Drink your tea, said Clorinda, and then tell me what is all this bother.

Lady Rachel consumed several cups, ran her hands across her hair and said, alas, all was revealed!

Clorinda drooped her eyelids and said, by that, I must suppose that Lord Pockinford has become apprized of the affections 'twixt his son and you?

Lady Rachel sighed and said, they had both been in some concern to find an occasion to discuss the matter of poor Scilla’s portended arrival and what they should do, and had eventually foregathered in the conservatory, shortly afore the hour of dinner. Sure we were very worried, although we supposed that naught could happen with any definiteness without Lord Fendersham came, and he was delayed – but Artie said he would not be bounced into any proposal – and sure our emotions ran very high – and we clasped one another’s hands – and then came into the conservatory Lord Pockinford –

Ah. And no doubt, His Lordship got into one of his takings?

'Twas so. I could see that I was not welcome, so I quit the place very early this morn, and minded that 'tis ever said in our connexion that do you find yourself in a brangle, Lady Bexbury is the finest hand at untying it, and Mama had remarked that you were coming to your estate here that is no enormous distance from the Pockinfords –

Very sensible, my dear. I think I should ease your mind at once concerning your friend Miss Fendersham, that by now, I fancy, will be over the border –

Lady Rachel’s mouth fell open. Eloped? To Gretna?

I am like to think that they aim at Glasgow, that offers a deal of more eligible accommodation suited to their station, since there is now a very fine railway connexion.

One might perceive that Lady Rachel thought this a little less romantic than might be, but really, thought Clorinda, it must be a deal more convenable to sit in a railway carriage – past what was give out very remarkable fine scenery – luncheon baskets provided at stations – luggage conveyed in the guard’s van – rather than cast over some young Lochinvar’s saddle and galloping over what one must suppose were in those days very bad roads were there roads at all.

Moreover, I am give to apprehend that one does not even require the matter of a special license to be married in Scotland, 'tis a positive free and easy procedure even does one not swear it over the anvil.

Well! said Lady Rachel, looking more cheerful. Indeed I am very happy for her and for Bobbie and that that looming shadow is removed from Artie. She helped herself to a slice of lardy-cake and ate it with relish. But, my poor Artie –

My dear, now the immediate danger is past, we may go contrive. Do have some more – I daresay you have eat very little the day – dinner will not be long now – I would recommend that you go wash and change your clothes, you will feel a deal better, and then come down to dine.

Lady Rachel threw her arms about Clorinda and said, she entirely saw why her Aunty Nan referred to Lady Bexbury as their fairy godmother!

After she had gone Clorinda turned to observe Leda suppressing hysterics in her discreet corner. I fear, she said, this is not the quiet retreat I anticipated.

Leda snorted and said, La, but such an opportunity to observe Lady B at work.

The dogs began to bark again and there was what sounded like a horse trotting up to the house.

They looked at one another.

Leda began to giggle and said, sure, this would become a fine play from A Lady Anonyma in due course!