Had I not propos’d this masquerade to teaze the Earl

The Marquess looks at me and says, sure he is sorry to come upon me so late, when I must be tir’d, but indeed, he knows not who else he might come speak to on the matter.

Indeed, says I, have been your confederate in the matter this long while, and I fear adviz’d you ill. Had I not propos’d this masquerade to teaze the Earl –

Mayhap, says the Marquess, but we were entire agreeable to it. We were careless and did not think – sure I should not have been so thoughtless when I was in the Americas or the West Indies.

Why, says I, I confide 'tis somewhat of a different matter. You were not going in risque of your life or in need to protect comrades in the cause, you were in love with an entire eligible young lady, and wisht enjoy her company. I daresay that you had little apprehension of the way that gossip within Society can become a poisonous miasma. But I should have took more thought to warn you.

I have now enough apprehension of les convenances, he says, that I realiz’d that might well go exceeding hard for my dear Hippolyta, and also for Nicholls, did I say to the Earl, but that was no Incognita, that was your lovely daughter, Lady Anna M-, that I went ride with in the mornings, while her groom went about his own flirtation.

I sigh, for I cannot immediate see any way thro’ this imbroglio: mayhap because 'tis so late, and I am so tir’d.

Mayhap did we elope - ?

Why, says I, I pray you, do not make any rash plans, but when I am more refresht, I will go consider upon the matter and see what one might contrive.

'Twould, I go on, do no harm to be about the matter of a special licence, for 'tis a long way to the Border and Gretna Green - Mr MacD- knows the intricacies of the business of going about getting one. I will just write you a note for him – I go to my pretty desk, and find myself yawning considerable as I find paper, pen and ink, scrawl a message, and sand it before handing it to the Marquess.

He says that he should not keep me up any longer – dares say he may go find a shake-down in the stable until he may be about the business the morn.

Oh! I cry: but indeed perhaps I had better not offer him the couch in the dressing-room that gives onto my boudoir, where Milord was wont to spend the nights, and where I put up Josh when he ran away, 'tis entire better not.

I ring for Hector and ask is there anywhere we might put up the Marquess. Hector replies that indeed, they have a spare bedchamber with a truckle bed in the mews cottage, is His Lordship agreeable to their humble abode?

He says 'tis better than the stable.

So Hector goes take him there, and I go up to where Docket waits, and I am so tir’d feels like an unwont’d effort to have to get undresst and have my hair brusht &C, would like to fall into bed just as I am.

But indeed in the morn when Sophy comes with my chocolate, I feel a deal more refresht for having undertaken that effort. O, Your Ladyship, says Sophy, you were sleeping so sweet and peacefull after your late night that Docket would not have you woke any earlier, and Mr MacD- has come call, and Hector has put him in the parlour with His Lordship the Marquess of O-, and they go breakfast there.

This lightens my spirits considerable, for there is no confederate in this imbroglio I should desire more than the dear bello scozzese.

I dress and go down and discover the two of them about breakfast in the parlour, the Marquess recounting some episode of his adventures in the West Indies that had naught to do with plants. They both rise quite immediate and make me a leg. I wave at them to sit down and desire them to pour me some coffee at once.

When I have had some coffee and eat a little kedgeree and a muffin or two – for 'twill serve no advantage to go contrive upon an empty stomach - I say, sure this is most interesting matter that you discourse of –

Indeed, says the Marquess, I daresay one might go write a horrid tale or so upon it –

I daresay, says I. But sure this is a fine brangle the Earl goes create.

They both sigh.

A very material question, says Sandy, is whether Lady Anna is of age and thus would not require parental consent to any marriage.

The Marquess and I look at one another and I confide that neither of us have ever gone ascertain this matter. I frown a little and say, she gives out that she has been out several Seasons, so she must be approaching that age –

And, he says, she said somewhat to me once that her come-out was held back so that she and Lady Emily might make their debut together, ‘twas some freak of their Aunt Laetitia’s –

Sure, says Sandy, 'twould make the matter a deal easier was she of age and you did not have to make a wild drive for the Border. (I perceive that he would like to say somewhat of the better laws upon matrimony that pertain in Scotland, but minds that we have other matter to deal of at present.) Tho’ indeed, did you so, altho’ 'tis entire traditional to make for Gretna Green, might throw off pursuers did you have some other destination.

Is she of age, says I, and you went about to obtain a special licence, I fancy I have interest with a clergyman that would be entire happy to marry you, indeed, you too have obtain’d interest with him.

O, says Sandy, that fine scholarly fellow Mr L- in Surrey?

And, says I, sure I think none would greatly suspect an eloping couple to go into Surrey. But, even so, could one contrive some false trail -

Sure, Lady B-, says Sandy, you should write novels.

I turn upon him a dour Calvinistickal glare and desire him to mind that this is a sober matter we go contrive. But as we cannot get forward with the business until we are appriz’d of Lady Anna’s age, I apprehend that I must cut a meeting concerning the optickal dispensaries and go call upon Lady N-.

I go consider a moment and say, sure Lady Emily was saying yestere’en at the O- B-s’ musick party that Lady Anna had the headache. I am known such an intimate of the family that indeed I might go call to find out was she recover’d, take a particular fine soothing water in case she is not, hope 'tis not the start of some fever -

I had not heard that! cries the Marquess, my poor girl –

I confide, says I, that a headache is what may be give out to the generality in a deal of cases, and 'tis more like that she had been weeping 'til her face was quite swollen. But provid’d Lord N- has not entire clos’d the doors of N- House to me – that I think he will not do, for 'twould look exceeding particular – I may go conclave with Lady N-, and perchance Lady Anna herself. And sure, I think we should bring Lord U- into any plot we devize.

So, after the Marquess has depart’d extreme discreet for O- House, and Sandy and I have dispatcht the business he came about, and I have lookt over my correspondence to ensure I miss no matter of any urgency, 'tis come an hour when I may quite reasonable go make calls, and I take me to N- House.

When I am shown into Lady N-'s chamber I see Lady Anna lying with her head upon her mama’s lap in an attitude of despair, while Lady Emily goes stroke her hand, and Lord U- paces up and down in a fury.

O, cries the Countess, 'tis Lady B-, she will know what to do!

Why, says I, I am no miracle-worker, and no strega that might work a charm, but I have heard somewhat of the business at hand and confide that there may be a way through.

A footman brings tea.

After he has gone, Lord U- says, but what can be done? 'Tis all very well to talk of flying to Gretna, but –

Tell me, says I, how old is Lady Anna?

O, cries Lady Emily, beginning to sob herself, 'tis nigh on her birthday –

When, says Lord U-, a smile beginning to dawn, she will be twenty-one.

Lady Anna lifts her head. But, she says, even so –

Why, says I, I confide that e’en now, the Marquess goes to Doctors’ Commons, where he may obtain a special licence. Can you, my dear, bear to wait the few days until you are of age – and indeed, 'twill allay any suspicions does no precipitate action take place – and mind on your lessons in acting from Miss A- to go impress your sorrow upon the household and give no indication that there may be hope -

- and, I go on, I am sure Her Grace of M- will show most sympathetick to your state, and desire you and Lady Emily to go spend a day or so at M- House so that she may hold a little party for you and your circle and endeavour distract your mind from the discovery of, what I daresay rumour gives out as, the Marquess’ shocking perfidy.

Lady Anna sits back upon her heels with an expression of dawning hope. Will she so? she asks.

I confide she will, says I, and, Lord U-, I should desire convoke with you at some time over certain practickalities.

He looks at me and says, he knows not what I purpose, but it occurs to him that the business would look a deal less hugger-mugger was he to be present.

Indeed, says I, I was in entire intention that should be so, perchance Lady Emily as bridesmaid – I am indeed sorry, I turn to say to Lady N-, that I can come at no way that you might also be there.

Can you bring my dear Nan happy, I can bear that, she says.