A somewhat operatick plan

O, I am so exceeding happy to be with my darlings, to be in triangle in the exceeding large bed in my fine reserv’d chamber, to have the children come for the chocolate-party levée, to go play tiger in the nursery, to visit Josh’s menagerie and see him explain very gentle to Flora how she may play with the dormice without hurting ‘em, or where the badger relishes a little scratching, to have my dear hoydens go show me off to their friends that they invite to tea, to be my belov’d treasure’s sleepy wombatt at night. And there is fine converse with my dearest darlings, sometimes upon heavy matters and sometimes upon matter that is quite thistledown, and we laugh and sometimes 'tis because one or other says a thing that is extreme witty and sometimes 'tis merely because ‘tis so congenial to be together.

And there is company comes call and thinks it most exceeding in order that I should stay at R- House while there is noisy work going on in my own cellar, and will even remark what an excellent device it sounds, I must certainly tell them how it gets on when the ice-house is finisht and fill’d with ice.

And Milord and Sandy are ever in and out, and come to family dinner have they no other engagements.

And there is another fine tiffin-party, but this time Seraphine has gone bid Euphemia to come and undertake it (for, she says, 'tis heavy work for one that is increasing as she is: but I think 'tis a kindness to Euphemia). All goes exceeding well and there are no odious comparisons.

Also I find my pen exceeding apt at inditing tales rather than letters upon philanthropick business or pamphlets.

But I do not neglect my social duties, and go make calls, sometimes with Eliza and sometimes alone.

Hearing from M- House that Lady J- is, if not out and about upon her usual round of activities, no longer completely bed-rid, I go call upon her with a little note from Bess and Meg and a nosegay they have made up for her.

Altho’ she is not bed-rid, I find her in her parlour resting upon a chaise-longue, not in her office, which does not surprize me. She looks unwont’d pale and languid, but smiles to see me.

Lady B-! such a pleasure.

I go over and say that I confide she is feeling a little better, and give her the girls’ note and posy. She is so toucht by this that she become a little tearfull - but sure 'tis a time when the humours are exceeding disturb’d.

Alas, she says, not as much better as I should like, 'tis exceeding tiresome. Now I perceive the sense in all those warnings not to overdo. She sighs.

Sure, says I, the like happens to many women, 'tis of frequent occurrence, and oft-times has naught to do with any manner in which the woman conduct’d herself.

'Tis kind of you to say so, says she, but I fear 'twas my vanity to suppose that I would not let the matter of increase hinder me.

Sure this is unlike Lady J-, but I think she is shockt at how her body has gone betray her, for she has ever enjoy’d quite abounding health.

I pat her hand.

And, she says, I must go write to the Admiral – he will, she says with a sob, I daresay just have had my letter with the former glad news.

(O, I can quite imagine it: the dear Admiral serving wine to his officers so that they may toast his good lady, his great joy at the news; and now this.)

There is a little silence 'twixt us and then she reaches out to take my hand, clasps it very hard for one that looks so weak, and says, O, Lady B-, you are so very skill’d at contriving matters – I find myself in the most desperate longing to see my dear Miss A- - and sure I fear that she goes fret about me, the tender-heart’d creature – and yet one sees that there may be adverse remark is she seen openly coming to M- House –

I pat her hand and say, I will to her as soon as maybe and convey the intelligence of your recovering health (for I had some such plan in mind already). And sure I think that a meeting might be contriv’d. Is there not a discreet side-door and stairway to M- House –

- Lady J- gives me a sharp look quite in her old style -

- and I confide that there are those in the household are dispos’d to be discreet and could conduct one that came to that door to your parlour.

Why, says Lady J-, rather dry, you know a deal about the inwardness of M- House. But, can you bring this about, I should be quite infinite gratefull.

Dear Lady J-, says I, do I not owe you infinite gratitude? Sure I doubt that the Dowager Marchioness of B- would have been quite so well-receiv’d in Society had it not been for your patronage. Also, the dear Admiral is quite one of my oldest friends and I confide would desire me to do everything I might to assist your recovery, and keeping up spirits is a most important thing in convalescence.

So when I leave her parlour, I desire the footman to take me to see Phillips, in whom it is known I take interest.

'Tis entire helpfull to my plans that I discover dear Tibby has Jennie with her for a little instruction in the mysteries of her art. They both perform little dips – Jennie does this very pretty – and I say I have a little matter they may assist with.

I go open the matter to them, and they nod, and look to one another, and I say, Thomas is well-acquaint’d with the secret stair, and is a fine discreet fellow.

They declare themselves entire eager to oblige Lady J- in this matter. I say that I will be about visiting Miss A- the morn – for I do not wish to take the matter to her when she is preoccupy’d by the forthcoming performance - and can she come, will send a note of the hour.

I see that Jennie is quite delight’d to take part in this somewhat operatick plan.

So, the next forenoon, I go visit Miss A-. Rose lets me in, takes me into the parlour where Miss A- sits gazing into the fire (for there is now a little chill to the mornings), but leaps up to greet me, coming and taking both of my hands. Rose, she says, please to bring coffee for Lady B-.

I see the questions that tremble upon Miss A-‘s lips, but she contrives to control herself until Rose has brought the coffee, then throws herself at my feet and buries her head in my lap, quite in the old style.

I stroke her hair and say, dear rogue, Lady J- is not yet quite recover’d, but shows entire like to pull round, and 'twould be most material to her recovery to have a visit from her dear Miss A-.

O, cries Miss A-, looking up at me with a tear-streakt face, I have thought and thought how I might come about that. That I might disguise myself to get into M- House – but the plan will ever fall down because I would not know how to find her was I inside the place.

Dear rogue, says I, I know somewhat of discreet entry into M- House – tho’, I add, have not need’d any such thing these several years – and there are servants in the household in whom I repose trust, that are willing to conduct you to Lady J-. But disguise is a happy thought, for I daresay 'twould be best that none remarkt Miss A- lingering about in the vicinity of M- House.

I might even, says Miss A-, disguise myself as a boy - o, do not look at me like that, I am well able to contrive the effect, and 'tis an entire different matter from acting Rosalind or Viola, that must be present’d as a young woman that masquerades as a man. But when I was younger in the art, was often call’d upon to take boy’s parts.

Why, my dear, that is a pretty and subtle thought about Rosalind. But when might you contrive this?

She takes thought and says, tomorrow is not a day when she goes to N- House, and there is no rehearsal call’d for the afternoon, 'tis probable the soonest can be manag’d.

Well, says I, I must send a note to Tibby - I will go send it by Timothy, with some little package, that may be given out a lotion or wash Docket goes send her.

So I go to my own dear house – where indeed there is a noise of banging and a certain amount of dust hangs about the yard – and where Pounce and Dandy, that both look very plump and sleek, endeavour to persuade me that they are shockingly starv’d and abus’d, will I not take them away from this dreadfull place? - and write a little note for Tibby and make up a little package with some old pamphlets - and send Timothy to M- House.

I go look at the cards that have been left while I await his return, go consider is there anything I might take back to R- House with me, look at my pretty china collection, and try not to wring my hands.

Once he returns with Tibby’s note as to where and when Miss A- may come, I send him off with a note conveying this intelligence to Miss A-. Sure I should like to see her go personate a boy, but I confide I should let this plot run its course without I stand by directing it.