'Tis entirely too much to hope that someone will fire very wild

My darling discoursing of family and household matters enables me to collect myself and become compos’d, and sure I am no longer tearfull when she departs after several warm kisses, including the ones that I send to dear Josiah.

I sit down upon the bed. Sure it is pleasing to hear how well Josh comes on in recovering health and strength, and news of my darling treasure Flora is ever charming, especially when I hear that Miss N- has been about devising pretty little games that will teach her letters and numbers, and she comes along very promising. Harry is not yet left for Leeds but there are a deal of matters to be got in readiness for this advancement. Bess, my darling sighs, is come to womanhood over the summer, which makes her extreme volatile - o, says I, indeed 'tis a trying time, for those that go thro’ it and those around them – while was not Meg occasional chas’d into the garden she would ever be sitting at the piano practising. Quintus is the dear good little fellow he ever is.

Comes in Docket saying she has sent Sophy for a cowcumber and there is no haste at all for me to go into company.

I sigh, and say indeed I would desire to look my best as I am given to apprehend that that b---h Mrs D- K- will be of the company.

Docket snorts and says was Connolly (that is Mrs D- K-'s lady’s maid) to be believ’d at their last tea-drinking, she fears matters are gone on from refurbishing last season’s gowns to going sell them very discreet to raise the ready. Tho’ she has not sold her fine jewellery, a deal of it is in pawn.

Shocking, says I.

Not, says Docket, that she was ever any rival to Your Ladyship.

Comes in Sophy with a cowcumber, remarking that there are fellows in this household show a tendency to go be saucy.

Docket and I wax most indignant but I say that before I provide her with a hat-pin, I will have a discreet word with Miss Constance P-, and see if she can keep them under hand, the wretches.

Sure I feel a deal calmer after I have had slices of cowcumber upon my eyes, my hair brusht out and dresst, and I am arrayed in a very fine muslin gown. And my rubies.

I feel a deal more like unto myself as I go downstairs to join the rest of the party in the parlour.

At the foot of the stairs I encounter my very much belov’d Josiah: my dear Grand Turk takes my hand in a warm grip and says, Lady B-, as ravishing as ever, looking upon me with such an expression that 'tis fortunate that we are at that moment alone. Dearest C-, he says in an undertone, looking about us, sure we are most indebt’d to Hector’s alacrity.

And, says I, similarly sotto voce, his pugilistick art.

We look at one another, smile, drop our hands, which have remain’d claspt the while, and I go into the parlour.

Mr W- Y- has arriv’d, and is about praising the waters at Leamington Priors, sure they have set him up quite remarkable.

I say that I am gratify’d to see that he has recover’d from his ordeal. Sure I hope that horrid experience has not affect’d his poetry - but indeed, did I not hear that he had late publisht a new volume of his works?

Yes, says he, 'tis a small volume but he hopes that there is matter in there that will please me.

This gives me some concern that, as well as the poem he stole from Agnes S-, there is some effusion of his direct’d at myself that I did not penetrate far enough to discover, from being so exceeding shockt by his larceny.

Indeed, he says, producing a copy with a flourish, 'twould give me quite the greatest pleasure did you accept this little tribute.

O, says I, that is most exceeding kind, Mr Y-, sure I do not know whether I shall be able to comprehend the matter, but 'tis a very prettily got-up thing.

Susannah walks over the window so that her back is to the room. I confide that she wishes to conceal mirth.

Oh, she cries, the M- coach is coming up the drive.

I go stand beside her at the window. Biffle gets out and then hands down Viola, followed by a nurse that carries little Cathy.

O, says Susannah in delight, she brings the baby, is that not entirely charming? Of course, the child is still at breast, and she feeds it herself –

Mr W- Y- murmurs something about Rousseau: we all look at him somewhat askance.

Enters Viola with the babe in her arms.

Mr Y-, says Eliza, I daresay you would be adviz’d to go dress for dinner, for ladies going into ecstasies over a baby and talking matters of motherhood I confide would be entirely wearisome to you.

He looks as tho’ he agrees with her; makes a leg to the room at large, and departs.

We all go greet Viola and exclaim over little Cathy. Little V is now out of mourning and altho’ she is at present in travelling dress, looks exceeding finely array’d by Tibby.

Lady Z- says this tea is stew’d and cold and she will go ring for fresh.

After all have finisht remarking upon the babe, and said how extreme well Her Grace is looking, there is a desire to know whether she hears at all from Lady J-? O, indeed, says Viola, she must now be embarkt upon her return journey, has had a most agreeable time but 'tis time to get back to her responsibilities -

Fresh tea arrives along with Mrs O- B-. She too is most prepossesst by little Lady Catherine, that wears the pretty little lace cap that was the gift of Lady T-, that becomes her considerable.

There is much discourse of how we have spent our summers, mutual acquaintance, &C, and there is a very happy buzz of conversation when the door opens and Mrs D- K- enters. She stands upon the threshold almost sneering, makes most perfunctory greetings to all, 'tis scarce civil, and pays no mind at all to the baby.

I confide that all consider her entire unnatural. I wonder who she spreads her lures for on this occasion.

Comes in Miss Constance and says that she confides that all are known to one another and she does not need to make introductions. She then goes exclaim over Cathy.

I murmur that I would desire a discreet word with her and we withdraw to the window-nook, where I apprize her of the saucy behaviour of the men-servants towards Sophy, that is an entirely good girl and gives no encouragement. She sighs and says she will instruct the butler to remind the fellows of proper conduct. Alas, this is normally a bachelor household: she is wont to reside at Cheltenham with her elder sister Miss P-, that is much troubl’d with rheumatism and finds the waters answer exceedingly.

I say that indeed, they will get into unsuitable ways in such a circumstance. But then I go praise the excellence and cleanliness of my bedchamber, &C, so that she does not suppose I make any general criticism of her housekeeping.

She smiles at me and says, she hears that Lady B- is a not’d horsewoman, and do I desire a little equestrian exercise her pony Merrylegs is entire at my disposal, tho’ sure not what I am us’d to.

I say that is extreme gracious of her and indeed my reputation as an equestrienne is entire exaggerat’d, but 'twould be most pleasant to take a little ride the morn, so be I do not venture where any shooting goes forward.

O, she says, there are many pleasing rides hereabouts that will not take you anywhere near 'em.

She then sighs and says that she must be about making sure that dinner will be serv’d very soon, now all the guests are arriv’d.

Those ladies that have not already chang’d from travelling dress go to do so, and Viola says that alas, she must leave dear little Cathy with the nurse – Mrs D- K- looks quite nauseat’d at this display of maternal affection.

This leaves myself with Susannah and Lady Z-, and we look around from one to another with grimaces. O dear, says Susannah, I suppose 'tis entirely too much to hope that someone will fire very wild while they are shooting.

That would still leave us with Lady Disdain, I remark, as the door opens to admit the gentlemen of the party.

I see Sandy among them: we look at one another and raise our eyebrows, but alas, neither of us can command such speaking eyebrows as Mr W- and 'tis not a satisfactory means of communication.

Sir B- W- comes over and clasps my hands and says what a terrible thing this is for the de C-s: is there anything one might do? (He may not be the cleverest of fellows but he has an excellent good heart.)

When the gong is struck for dinner I am taken in by Biffle, and find myself between him and Milord, that has Viola on the other side, so 'tis not as bad as might be: indeed I have some agreeable converse in the course of the meal. Mrs D- K-, that is between Sir B- W- and Sir H- Z-, appears to be in an entire fury of boredom as both tell her about their offspring. However, most of the table seems more amiably partner’d.

All go to bed extreme early, as the gentlemen will be up betimes to go shooting. Docket says there is a chest that may be dragg’d in front of the door: as tho’ 'tis lockt she dares say there is another key somewhere in the house that the master of it knows.

I hope, Docket, says I, that you will not unwisely exert yourself. Perchance Sophy could contrive the matter.