I do not suppose that I could contrive to make a steam-pump

I sleep somewhat restless and have my nightmare, in spite of the fine hop-pillow that Docket provides for me. When I wake the morn very heavy-head’d, I say, as I sip my chocolate, that I will go see whether there is somewhat in the stables that I may ride, and clear my head of cobwebs before I am oblig’d to spend the day watching fellows throwing balls, hitting 'em, and chasing 'em.

Docket looks at me and says perchance that will bring a little colour to My Ladyship’s cheeks so that she will not require any rouge.

So Sophy goes array me in my riding-habit and I go down to the stables, where I discover Lord A-, that is talking to Ajax very amiable about racing matters.

Good morn, Your Ladyship. Sure Sir P- keeps a sad lot of nags that he is pleas’d to offer to his guests to mount upon; do you take my Zenobia and I will have MacHeath saddl’d for myself. I ever travel with two or three of my own cattle, for just such occasions. 'Twould be no pleasure to you to ride upon any of Sir P-'s hard-mouth’d scrubs.

Zenobia is a very pretty dark bay mare, tho’ somewhat taller than my sweet agreeable Jezebel: but now I have had some experience with Blackthorn and Red Rogue and have not contriv’d to break my neck, I think I may take the risque. I look over to Ajax who gives me a small nod, and I confide that he thinks I shall have no trouble.

Indeed once he has put my own saddle upon her and boost’d me into it, I find her an entire lady.

We ride off and find ourselves crossing a pasture in which there are very many sheep, that take no particular notice of riders.

Lord A-, I apprehend, expects very good sport with the cricket today: talks of who is like to be in the other team, the very excellent batsmen and bowlers they have here at present, sure with luck they will not be oblig’d to put Mr van H- in at all. 'Tis only civil to offer to have him play, but he confides that the Dutch are not great cricketers.

Why, says I, I would suppose it is not so much his nationality – for indeed he has been in this country very many years and has been elect’d to the Royal Academy – but that he is an artist and had rather sit with his sketching box painting the game than playing it.

Why, that would be a notion! cries Lord A-. For Sir P- was wishfull that his elder son should play, but 'tis a courtesy to his guests that they should be consider’d first.

'Twould answer exceeding well, for I daresay Mr van H- is quite sensible of the honour of being askt to play, but would greatly prefer to sit and watch.

We come to some open heathland and have a glorious canter, sure I feel a deal better already.

And, says Lord A-, somewhat hesitant, as we slow down again to cool the horses back to their stable, all is well 'twixt you and His Lordship?

O, quite entirely! says I. Took me driving within the last se’ennight, but we are both so much invit’d about at present and away from Town we have not had much of one another’s company of late.

(I confide that Lord A- is anxious to be assur’d that Milord’s pretend’d suit to Miss R- has not creat’d any lasting breach in our suppos’d relations.)

Only, says Lord A-, lately you were seen a deal in the company of that low Bavarian fellow, suppos’d some kind of noble, that has now gone back to his native land.

O, says I, one is oblig’d to show civil to foreign visitors, and he was at first much receiv’d in good Society.

Lord A- says he confides that customs and manners are greatly different in Germanic parts, for one could not like the fellow’s way of asking questions in company: sure he was remind’d of when poor Folliot Fanshawe had that unhappy accident, and the Runners came around their set, quite interrogating them as to whether the poor fellow had any enemies, or reasons for distress. One understands that 'tis necessary in such a case, but 'tis no civil behaviour in social life in this country.

Questions? says I.

Not the sort of things any gentleman might ask, as, what do you favour for the Derby, and is’t true that such and such lost such and such a sum at the tables last night, or, do you not think that M. Duval’s eating-house is no longer the entire crack, but most personal questions about members of our set. Exceeding vulgar.

I am like to suppose that Lord A- has not encounter’d the satirickal print or the pamphlet, concerning the Graf’s foolish suspicions that certain leading figures in Society were concealing seditious Bavarian agitators.

Why, says I, certainly he made a most pressing suit to me – The rascal! cries Lord A- - but indeed I think he had some motive: for indeed, a well-left widow finds a deal of fellows will go make themselves exceeding amiable towards her.

Lord A- says very gruff that he is sure that that cannot be the only reason, or any reason, why fellows might make suit to Lady B-.

La, says I, Lord A-, do you go make pretty speeches to me?

Lord A- responds by remarking that My Ladyship is exceeding widely admir’d, and all of their set most greatly envy Milord.

(This is exceeding gratifying: sure I am a vain creature.)

He goes on to say that as Sir P- and his lady purpose to hold a ball in two nights’ time, may he solicit me for several dances?

O, I cry, you sly creature! I see that lending me your mare was entire a means to be beforehand of the company.

No, indeed, he says, but I take the opportunity it provides. And sure you become Zenobia very well.

This has been most agreeable, and I find I have a fine appetite for breakfast. I see Mr van H- sitting alone and go talk to him, saying that is not the sight of fellows playing cricket extreme picturesque? Indeed, he says, he dares say that is so, but one does not get a chance to observe the picture when one is at the wicket having balls hurl’d at one, and running about in this heat, &C.

Comes up Sir P- and I say that Mr van H- and I were just discoursing of what a pretty picture a game at cricket would make –

Why, says Sir P-, would it not be a fine thing did you make a painting of it, Mr van H-? But I confide that you would rather play than watch.

Oh, says Mr van H-, sure I would quite delight to paint the scene, but I apprehend that there is a need for a certain number of fellows upon the team?

Hah! cries Sir P-, here is my boy Tom, that I confide quite longs to take part in the match, that I could put in in your place.

He goes pull the arm of a very young fellow, perchance about the same age as Harry F-, and tell him that indeed he can play rather than sit keeping score. The boy looks a deal less enchant’d at this prospect than his father supposes.

Docket and Sophy array me in a very fine light muslin that is most exceeding becoming - indeed Maurice has the matter in him – and a hat with a brim that will shield my face somewhat, tho’ 'tis not as broad as the hats I was oblig’d to wear at Naples. I also have my parasol, and Docket expresses a hope that they will have the sense to ensure that the ladies are sat in the shade.

I perceive that, to my extreme relief, chairs and benches have been provid’d for the ladies of the company, and we shall not be expect’d to sit upon the grass. I go find myself a chair over which a fine tree casts a shadow, and sit myself down.

There are some several fellows come up and cluster around me, most anxious to inform me of the game and its finer points, which would be agreeable, and indeed flatters my vanity, but that I was in hopes that I might have time to go think my own thoughts, as one might during a long tedious sermon in church.

Sits on the grass a little way from me young Tom O- with his bat beside him, but shows no interest in the match before us – Mr van H-, I perceive, is walking around with his sketchbook, I hope he is in no danger of being hit by a flying ball – and goes to read a book.

I dispatch some of the fellows to be about fetching me lemonade, some cherries, &C, and ask young Master O- what 'tis he reads so intently?

He looks up and blushes and says, o, 'tis about steam-engines.

Oh, says I, and is it matter of interest?

He commences to tell me a deal about steam-engines, and I confide that I am able to make intelligent remarks, for indeed Mr D- told me a very great deal about steam, and while I do not suppose that I could contrive to make a steam-pump, I daresay I have some understanding of the principles.

Meanwhile there is a deal of clapping, cries of well-play’d, groans, &C around us.

Master O- says with a sigh that he seldom comes across any that know about steam, and I say that I have lately been oblig’d to consider the matter as I find myself in possession of a mine and there is some need for a new steam-pump.

He sighs again and says that must be a deal more interesting than sheep.

He is then summon’d to go play, which he does with some reluctance. I sip my lemonade and fan myself.