A general might envy my lines of communication

I am at my correspondence the following morn, when comes in Sandy saying he has seen my note and is anxious to learn what it purports.

Comes in Celeste with coffee and shortbreads.

After she has gone, I convey to him the tale that was told me by Fraulein H-, and my own surmizes concerning the matter.

Sandy frowns greatly and says that 'tis something he can quite suppose that wretch of a violincellist to be about contriving, when one considers the foul scandal he endeavour’d to drum up while he was at large in Town. That he will go about to sling mud can he do so.

He drinks several cups of coffee and says that he would have said that there are no great number of Bavarian revolutionaries and radickals to be found in this country – while indeed one may find much to criticize about the constitution and reforms that they are about there, 'tis hardly the Bourbon tyranny or the unhappy situation of the Poles. But he has latterly heard that Herr P-, that is a philosopher in Nuremberg that puts forward most exceeding radickal democratick ideas, has been seen about Town.

O, says I, oh dear, sure I think I have met the very fellow: but I did not know that he was a Professor of Philosophy, I suppos’d him a geologist -

Why should you do that? And indeed, I do not think he is properly term’d a professor, for altho’ there have been some improvements in the situation of the Jews in those parts, I do not think they are yet admitt’d to university posts however exemplary their qualifications. Is given out to have held classes quite informal that stirr’d up the students considerable.

Do I meet a fellow at the S-s that had brought Mr S- some fine Bavarian fossils, I am like to think him in the same line as Mr S-.

Sure 'tis entirely reasonable.

But he was merely making a call – O, says I, o, o. Then Mr S- said he was sending him on to the U-s. That live in my pretty place in Surrey that dear General Y- left me.

We look at one another with concern’d expressions.

Even are there not quite hordes of revolutionary Bavarian conspirators in England, says Sandy very thoughtfull, there are those that will ever be manufacturing suppos’d conspiracies out of their own fears. And do they hear of but one known agitator, I daresay will be supposing he goes about to promote an arm’d uprising, and perchance endeavours to purchase weaponry &C to that purpose.

Sure, says I, they would be better to put such imagination to the business of inditing Gothick novels, 'twould be a deal more sensible and safer. But sure I think that the Graf, having been made acquaint’d with the inaccuracies in Herr F-'s descriptions of superannuat’d jezebels &C, might have given some thought to the plausibility of the overall narrative.

Says the author of fine tales of haunt’d curricles and curst canals!

Why, 'tis entire fiction and set forth as such, 'tis a device: I am not requir’d to believe in such things.

Sandy smiles at me and says sure there are few that have Lady B-'s sound grasp on the distinction ‘twixt fact and fiction.

One that has been in my former trade has had many dealings in the matter. (Sure I am tempt’d to shock him with some examples, such as o, my lord, sure that is quite extraordinary large &C. But we are about a matter of some seriousness, so I refrain.)

But, he says, what are we to do?

Indeed, says I, 'tis very hard to prove that there is not a confederacy of Bavarian revolutionaries hiding in the cellar, for I confide that these are fellows that did they search the cellar and find nothing but a few spiders, would suppose that we had just conceal’d the conspirators elsewhere, perchance in the attics.

Sandy says sure 'tis too heavy a matter for one to smile over, and yet he apprehends that 'tis of the greatest value to have the thoughts of an acclaim’d Gothick novelist turning the matter over.

Indeed, says I, we should be at finding some stratagem that will twist the story to our own advantage.

And in a year or so’s time, I daresay, we will see something very like it in three prettily-bound volumes!

Well, my dear, be that so or no, I think we should go ponder the matter a little and not be precipitate, but convey warnings among our set.

Indeed that would be prudent: I can go convey the warnings at R- House –

And I can go call on Lady W-. But as His Grace is at Q-, we should have to write any warning and somehow, mayhap 'tis foolish, I am disinclin’d to write the matter down -

O, says I after a moment. I believe Phillips came up to Town about some commissions. Has she not yet return’d to Q-, which sure Docket or Euphemia will know, I will send a message by her.

Sandy looks at me and says that there are generals would envy my lines of communication.

Which minds me, says I, that I have a letter for you from Marcello - my dear, do not look so perturb’d, there is no cause for alarm. I confide, from what he wrote to me, that he desires your advice on some matters of translation beyond what Alf can aid with, so that he is clear on what the English exact purports before he puts it into Italian.

I daresay I can contrive that! And he does not say anything about stabbing or stilettos?

Nothing in the least.

'Tis always possible that he thinks an assassination or two barely worth the trouble of mentioning.

But he opens the letter – which is a very thick one – and I see that frown of his that means enjoyment of a problem that may be solv’d.

In the afternoon I go see dear Susannah to convey her the word about this imbroglio.

She remarks that she has ever had some suspicion of the Graf, tho’ perchance that is because he will address all his conversation to gentlemen as if ladies are not there or at least not sensible: save in the case of yourself, dearest C-, which all suppos’d was naught to do with your intellect - and do not go telling me you are a silly creature of no education, or I will bring the dread crocodile with me when next I call.

But I will make sure Sir B- W- is appriz’d to mind his words if he comes anywhere about the Graf, she says. Tho’ I think it unlike he will, he does not take to the fellow at all.

(Sure, thinks I, Sir B- W- may ever claim that he is not the cleverest of fellows &C, but I have observ’d that he has quite excellent instincts.)

She looks at me with her dear crook’d smile that is so charming and says, sure 'tis ever a delight to see me, but she finds herself curiously sleepy in the afternoon.

O, my dear Susannah! So indeed you are increasing?

So it seems, she says. I purpose to go talk to that fine midwife Martha and Eliza recommend’d, for she has the matter in her, I confide.

Indeed she does, says I, rising, kissing her, and taking my leave.

I have some other calls to make, but then I return home, as it comes about that Tibby was to have a tea-drinking with Docket this very day, so it all falls out extremely.

'Tis a great pleasure to see Tibby, and how extreme well she is turn’d out, and say something of this.

Sure, she says, Maurice makes for me, 'tis instead of the customary commission.

I ask how she finds Docket, and she says, really quite exceeding well, Sophy is a good handy little thing that takes the heavier business from her hands and shows a deal of apprehension in the matter. But she confides that 'tis all to the best that – as she supposes – Docket will be much out of Town over the summer, for that heavy hot weather is quite entire the worst thing for her.

Indeed, says I, weighing the trials of travel - and sure in my fine well-sprung carriage with Ajax on the box, those are most greatly reduc’d – against summer in Town, 'tis better I take her about with me.

After some further converse about Docket and the household and Phoebe – o, is not Camille quite the charmingest of infants, after Miss Flora and Julius and Hannah? - &C, I convey Tibby verbally the message for Viola to pass on to Biffle. O, the wick’d fellows! she exclaims. Quite shocking.

She goes on to say that she returns to Q- tomorrow: this e’en she goes to Vauxhall.

Indeed? says I. Sure Hector has been boasting upon Titus being solicit’d to be part of the entertainments there.

Tibby ducks her head with a little smile. Sure, she says, Titus is no longer that hobbledehoy he was when he came first into the household: now has quite a deal of polish and presence. But indeed he minds Mr G- D-'s prudent advice.

I smile upon her and ask how Her Grace does, sure I hear very agreeable reports of her condition and the fine daughter she has borne.