News may be excellent, or upsetting

Sure 'tis some several days since Sandy came call upon me, but the morn after the S-s’ Twelfth Night party he comes looking most exceeding chearfull. For my part, I am somewhat out of humour with him.

Celeste comes most expeditious with coffee and some fine fruitcake, of which there remains a great deal in the household.

I commence to look at Sandy as he consumes several cups of coffee.

He looks up and says, C-, are you quite well? Sure I did not think Mr S-'s punch was so very strong.

This, says I, is intend’d as a dour Calvinistickal glare.

What!

O, says I, thou sneaking scozzese, do not be putting on an innocent face. Sure I am exceeding displeas’d with you.

He frowns in bewilderment.

Do you not, says I, go about proclaiming that Lady B- is positively a bluestocking, and I daresay that I secretly make deep studies in Sanskrit and Hebrew and the higher mathematicks?

C-! Sure I only say what your circle must entirely apprehend, that your claim to be a silly creature of no education is a disguise like unto the domino in a play or the opera – sure 'tis merely a dramatick convention and conceals nothing from those that know you.

I give him a horrid scowl. Indeed my friends are kind enough to pretend that I am not one that entire lacks the benefit of a fine education. But I should not like this to become a general on-dit. 'Twould be most adverse to my interests, and, I confide, those of our set more generally.

O, I go on, I daresay 'tis not quite like Naples, but I am like to suppose that it may better serve our interests to have it generally put about that Lady B- is a feather-head’d creature, whose company is sought for the recreation of the lighter hours of that dangerous radickal set, for sure she could not at all comprehend any deeper matter.

Sandy looks at me, and says, Dearest C-, sure I have come greatly to value your intelligence, and I do not like to hear you report’d as naught but a pretty face. But I confide that your apprehension in this matter is most exceeding apt.

Now our set is being woo’d, says I, I think it most material that fellows will suppose it cannot matter what they say to Lady B-. But, I continue, that is not all. How is it that you were the advisor to a conspiracy in the matter of Herr F-, and did not tell me?

Why, I would say, as you do sometimes to me, that the secret was not mine to disclose: but indeed, I should have known that you would sound out the matter sooner or later.

Indeed, says I. But I am somewhat astonisht that you would be party to a conspiracy, that you have inform’d me is a serious matter under the law.

Sandy gives somewhat of a grimace and says sure 'tis a thing that is much us’d against the seditious; but that he makes the calculat’d gamble that even is the matter discover’d, 'tis not a charge that is like to be brought against a confederacy that includes a Duke, an Admiral of attest’d gallantry and several other gentlemen of rank and repute, when there is also such matter of female honour in the business. He is like to think any judge would commend them as true-born Englishmen and deplore their restraint with such a villain, did it ever come to a courtroom. But Matt Johnson confides that 'twill not: he has gone about to ensure that 'twill appear that the matter was well lookt into: but that there is no evidence to accuse any particular one.

Well, says I, I daresay Matt Johnson can report that any mention’d in Herr F-'s wild rantings, or suspect'd on account of their own threats concerning him, were – o, perhaps one should not say entirely about their lawfull business - but that their whereabouts at the time are quite definite testify’d to by most reputable witnesses.

We smile at one another.

But, says Sandy, I came here with the most excellent news.

Oh? I raise my eyebrows.

The elder Miss N- and the T-s are most extreme prepossesst with one another, and she intends to go with them to New South Wales, be about educating the convicts, assist in their scientifick investigations, and in due course become the governess for their children. While the other Miss N- is somewhat tearfull at the thought of her sister going so far distant, she is also exceeding happy that she will no longer be in that horrid family.

Why, what a most excellent thing! says I. Sure it all falls out very happily.

Sandy looks at me somewhat suspicious. I fold my hands in my lap with an innocent air.

Why, says he, do I suppose that this does not come to you as a complete surprize?

Really, Mr MacD-, I cannot imagine! Sure I was about asking the dear Contessa did she know of any in Naples that requir’d an English governess.

He snorts and continues to look at me quizzickal. I look back most exceeding demure.

In the afternoon I go pay an entire informal visit at R- House.

My darling is in the family room, convoking with the Misses N- as to what now needs to be done.

I tell them that I apprehend a very formal letter, with fine legal terminology, conveying Ellie N-'s resignation, and desiring the D-s to send any arrears of salary, and her box, perchance upon aristocratick notepaper, and seal’d with an heraldick signet, should entirely answer. One might, I go on, ask Mr MacD- to compose something suitable.

O, Lady B-, says Ellie N-, I am so entirely gratefull that you told me of the fine work that the T-s are about. What excellent people they are, 'tis a refreshment to the spirit to hear them talk. But sure had I not known of their desire for one to aid in this fine project to lighten the darkness of ignorance, I should never have thought to speak to them and ask might there be a place I could fill.

O, says I, 'tis well-known that Lady B- will ever be speaking of the T-s and their excellent endeavours in the antipodes.

Eliza looks at me somewhat quizzickal.

But indeed, says I, I am most entire delight’d that this happy matter of mutual benefit comes about.

Ellie N- goes on to say that she is to Islington Green to take tea with Mrs T- - o, what a clever woman she is – to discuss what she will require for the voyage and for New South Wales.

My dear Miss N-, says I, is there any particular matter that you need to purchase, I hope you will permit me to be your banker in the matter.

You are too kind, but indeed I daresay that there are certain matters that I should be provid’d with.

Her sister, that looks a little tearfull thro’ her smiles, says that sure she supposes that there must be some matter of books &C that it would be prudent to take with her.

Ellie N- links her arm thro’ hers, and says, let us go up to the schoolroom and make a list, before I go convoke with Mrs T-.

The sisters go out.

My darling and I kiss. O, cleverest of C-s, says Eliza, I confide that I see your lovely hand in this.

Really, my love, anyone would suppose that no business would come about without I meddled in it.

Sure I cannot suppose how that could be!

Indeed I am mercilessly teaz’d, says I.

But this is a most excellent thing for Miss N-'s sister, however it came about. And for the T-s.

And also I daresay for the convicts. I am like to suppose that Miss N- would show much better did she have those that truly desir’d to learn to teach.

We look at one another with very great affection for a long quiet moment.

This is immediate entire shatter’d as come rushing thro’ the door, already talking very angry, Bess and Meg, that I suppose to have just been at dancing class.

O, the beast! The wretch! The weasel! &C &C go the girls, that I perceive are somewhat in disarray, their hair very untidy, their dresses disarrange’d and I perceive a ruffle or two torn.

Calmly, my dears, says Eliza, now what’s ado here?

Both start speaking at once.

One at a time, she says. Bess?

There was a beastly girl at dancing-class, said something extreme ill-manner’d about Aunty C-, said everyone knew -

I feel a little faint and sit plump down in the nearest chair as Bess and Meg continue with their tale. How did I suppose this would never come about? Sure there must be gossip and those that gossip are not always carefull over who might hear, for I cannot suppose any scandal concerning myself is suitable to talk of to a girl of Bess or Meg’s age.

- so we fought her.

My dear hoydens, says Eliza, I confide that I should have desir’d to do the same, but in society, 'tis entirely best not to resort to the pugilistick art.

Indeed, says I, in a voice that threatens to wobble, there is a look that one should give to those that go about showing off their vulgarity and ill-breeding. I demonstrate.

Yes, my loves, that is what you should do in such case, which is a deal less likely to bring me an angry visit from the girl’s mama. Now, go and change, and then bring your sewing boxes and these dresses and we will be about mending 'em.

The girls go out and Eliza rushes to my side. O, my dearest love –

I start to rise, tho’ my legs offer to shake under me. Sure, my love, we could not expect that the children would never find out. I will go.

Dearest of C-s –

No, indeed, I think I should. I squeeze her hand, and depart.