I make disclosures

The dear T-s are return’d from Harrogate, looking most extreme well, an entire advertizement for the virtues of Harrogate waters. Once they are in Town, 'tis a mad whirl of scientifick talks and philanthropick meetings upon the convicts.

However, dearest Mrs T- comes calling one forenoon, and I tell Hector to give me out not at home does any other seek my company (sure I have not yet sound’d out some way of bringing harmony back to the household. 'Tis enough to make one wish for stregonera indeed, or that philtre from my tale).

O, Abby, says I, how very well you look, quite entire rest’d, I confide that you found Harrogate most congenial.

Oh, indeed, dear C-, she replies, we are most gratefull for your recommendation of the place, and Dr J- show’d a very complete understanding of our constitutions. We were perhaps a little naughty in that Mr T- and I did not subject ourselves to complete rest as he instruct’d us, but took the occasion to get on with our volume on the natural phenomena of New South Wales, which is quite an entire pleasure to us, and which we found much difficulty in pursuing in Town, because of the great bustle of Society and meetings &C. 'Tis now nigh on complete and we greatly hope to see it through the press before we sail for home.

(Indeed it strikes a little pang in my heart that my dear friend now sees her home so very distant, but it is quite clear that she is most suit’d to the pioneering life and that she is entire happy there.)

I mention that I have been to see Sir Z- R- and that he show’d me the portrait of the two of them with wombatt and other antipodean matters. I disclose his speculation that she is her own sister, and we both laugh somewhat immoderate. O, she says, one sister in the frozen north, driving her sleigh thro’ wolf-infest’d forests – she makes a gesture of one that draws her sables about her – and the other in the far south of the globe, surround’d by wombatts and wollabees.

But, dearest C-, whilst we discourse of secrets, you are a naughty creature that has not told me anything like the all of what you have been about.

Oh? says I, that minds that Dr J- may have mention’d that fascinating Mrs C-, the sea-captain’s wife and later widow, that was quite the toast of Harrogate when she took the waters along with her dear friend Mrs F-.

For a little recreation from our labours with our own book, Mr T- read to me of an evening, entire frivolous works from the circulating library. And there was a most entertaining Gothick novel call’d The Gypsy’s Curse -

Indeed, says I, it was quite the crack when it came out, and there was a play made of it that had quite the success.

O, C-, will you still try to keep on the mask? Sure I said nothing to my dear spouse, but I could see that several of the main persons in the story were very like indeed to persons of our set, tho’ indeed what gave me the first clew was the description of the evil Prince-Bishop, that quite exact hit off Junker von E-. And then I saw that the Grand Duke, that is in love with an unsuitable match, was entirely like Lord S, that is now Duke of M-, and the court fop most greatly resembl’d Lord G- R-, and there was a foolish noble that was the picture of Sir B- W- &C & C. There were those I could not match with their originals, but I minded that you must have made new acquaintance since last I saw you.

Once we had read that, we found out from the circulating library that there were two further novels by the same hand, and a number of shorter tales, and really, my dear, you do have quite unsuspect’d talents.

I have also writ several plays, I say in a small voice. Two that were really quite well-receiv’d and another that Mr J- goes about to produce. O, Abby, 'tis entire a secret, pray do not tell anyone.

She jumps up and kisses me very hearty. Now, did I write a novel that had such success I would tell everyone, but I daresay you have your reasons, dear C-.

Sure, says I, the first one appear’d before my very unexpect’d elevation, and there were enough criticks that thought it a most immoral work without I associated it with the notorious Madame C- C-’s name. And now I am Dowager Lady B-, that is so not’d for her philanthropick endeavours, I go about among certain sets that think novels, and most particular Gothick novels, are doing the Devil’s work. I manage the matter very carefully and thro’ an intermediary.

'Tis exceeding gratifying to me, I add, what publishers and editors are prepar’d to pay for what I write, for indeed I was wont to suppose that I only had one vendable commodity.

Oh, my dear! She kisses me again. But that, I suppose, is something you no longer take to market? There are rumours of those that enjoy your favours, and I collect that you ever found pleasure in your work and would be most unlike to become a complete nun.

O, says I blushing, 'tis no matter to discourse of to a clergyman’s wife.

Dearest C- - she leans over and takes both my hands. Mr T- is no hell-fire and damnation parson that prates of Scarlet Women &C like that dreadfull Mr A-. Indeed, I can tell you, that are secret as a tomb, that there have been matters gone on in New South Wales that I do not think could have gone on in his pretty Essex parsonage, because that is entire the kind of place where everyone watches their neighbours and gossips upon them. (Sure it must be very like unto my place in Surrey)

I writ you, she goes on, that I sadly miscarry’d of a child 'twixt Tommy and the twins.

Indeed, I was most heartily sorry for you, for I apprehend that you greatly relish motherhood.

'Twas begot by Mr C-, an excellent fellow that is the surgeon to the scientifick expedition – o, do not pull that face, my darling, 'twas quite entirely with my dear spouse’s concurrence, for he could see how very much Mr C- had fallen in love with me, and that I had some inclination towards him. And with the consideration that there were extreme perils that he was like to face – for there are most venomous snakes and spiders &C in that land and who knew what other dangers the expedition might encounter? – he came to a conclusion that it could not be wrong to give him that happyness he desir’d so much.

O, dearest Abby, I cry, leaping up to embrace her, that was a very fine benevolent thing in him.

Was it not? She dabs at her eyes with a handkerchief. Of course we hear most intermittent from the expedition now they are gone so far into undiscover’d country.

Dearest Abby, dear oldest friend, there has been a matter that I hesitat’d to disclose to you, for indeed, 'tis somewhat of the same thing –

O, is’t true that Lord G- R- and that pretty fellow that is his secretary share your favours?

No, that is not it, says I, it is that I am most exceeding in love with Mr and Mrs F-: and indeed they confess the like towards me.

Well, 'twas always most apparent that you lookt with quite the greatest affection upon Mr F-, and that you were quite desolate when it seem’d he had cast you off – tho’ indeed he did not seem happy himself over the matter – but, Mrs F-? Sure we had fine girlish amuzement together that I still think of with fondness, but I did not think you had any particular inclinations of that kind - did not all remark about Miss A- quite dying of love at your feet while you show’d yourself quite indifferent?

O, I was – I am – extreme fond of Miss A-, but, tho’ she now improves somewhat, she was entire unable to keep dramas on the stage –

Mrs T- laughs and says, indeed, 'twas quite so.

- but, with Mrs F-, we became most exceeding friendly – I recount a little of the manner in which we met and became such friends – and then, o, I still cannot quite say how it came to pass, 'twas just when I found myself with child that would be my darling Flora, and they heard of this and came to me in great anxiety lest I did myself some hurt, and then –

O, says I, I find it too precious a memory to tell, is it not foolish?

No, my dear, 'tis entirely understandable. O, dearest C-, I now long even more to meet the F-s – sure they are much spoken of with the greatest admiration among your circle, and it is much remarkt that you remain on quite excellent terms with them – as indeed with several of your erstwhile patrons, 'tis consider’d to manifest most excellent ton on all sides.