A fragment

[the_comfortable_courtesan]

[Found in a bundle of loose papers apparently gathered together at random, in various hands, including household receipts, texts from the Bible, notes on household matters, stuffed into a box. The page has a ragged edge as if torn from a notebook, and indeed, upon finding the place in the relevant volume of Lady B-'s memoirs it can be seen that a page has been torn out just before the entry that begins with the same two paragraphs. This page is crumpled, the text struck through with a large cross made so very firmly that the pen dug into the paper and went right through in two places.]

Sure sometimes I feel a little desolate, for being a widow that must observe the usages of Society is almost the condition of some Turkish lady immur’d in a seraglio, lacking that companionship that I daresay fellow-wives discover with one another. I am seeing a certain amount of female society, with my callers, but I have been accustom’d to more society of gentlemen than I at present enjoy.

For one that has been accustom’d to be a votaress of Venus 'tis indeed somewhat trying: I miss my dear F-s extreme fierce, and did I have the choice they would be the companions I should chuse over all others, but sure a tumble with Biffle or the dear Admiral or some other favourite would be most agreeable.

Sure 'tis entirely for this reason – sure 'tis entirely foolish – no, indeed, silly C-, 'tis naught but that – quite entire a passing fancy – o, you are repay’d for your laughter over the matter he open’d to you –

Are his looks not universally admir’d? why should you suppose that you alone can remain unmov’d? has he not demonstrat’d the finest friendship towards you these many months?

Sure 'tis merely that you lye alone a good deal more than you have been wont.

Lye alone, wakefull, tossing in your solitary bed…

Did you disclose the matter, do you not confide that he would discover some philosophickal justification?

O, I will not be f---t as a matter of philosophy!

I put my hands to my face. Sure I am in the grip of furor uterinus, for I could have ravisht him upon the sopha will-he nill-he.

'Tis quite entire madness and I should be confin’d in a straitjacket.

At the end of this crossed-out passage, one sentence that reads ‘A sudden feverish delirium or frenzie that passt just as sudden’.

[Among these loose papers there is a very rough draft, with many crossings-out and emendations, in Lady B-'s handwriting, that suggests an attempt to use this episode as the basis for a horrid tale. If this was completed, it does not seem to have ever been published, though tracking down her shorter pieces is a complex and arduous task.]

Comments

[rymenhild]

Hee! Oh, poor Lady B-. (What a gift to the Lady B-/Sandy shippers!)

[kore]

//waves tiny but brightly coloured flag

[nenya_kanadka]

I STILL SHIP IT

...I mean in an AU where he's bi, or, or, for a definition of "ship it" that means "has a lot of feelings about their platonic friendship and enjoys the flirting but doesn't need them to fuck" or, like, as a one-sided occasional pining thing. Much like this piece of canon, in fact.

But yes. *grabs another tiny flag*

[kore]

I mean in an AU where he's bi, or, or, for a definition of "ship it" that means "has a lot of feelings about their platonic friendship and enjoys the flirting but doesn't need them to fuck" or, like, as a one-sided occasional pining thing. Much like this piece of canon, in fact.

INDEED

I think they both really click with each other and also both really realize oh God it would be so complicated and also he's gay and basically married and she's basically married with the F's and....BUT. There's still that spark.

[nenya_kanadka]

Exactly! It's complicated, like real life. I do adore them all so. <3

[davidgillon]

She should have reminded herself of the dour, Calvinistical glare - better than any cold shower!

[nineveh_uk]

A true passion-killer. One must admire Lord G- R-'s courage in facing it down.

[kore]

Did you disclose the matter, do you not confide that he would discover some philosophickal justification?

OH MY

[nenya_kanadka]

Oh, Sandy, always trying to be helpful...

NO SANDY YOU ARE GAY

...at least 99% so. If ever was forced to pick a woman, no better woman than C-, might even contrive to enjoy himself, could find excuses to try to make her happy...

BUT SO GAY

[kore]

SANDY YOU'RE SO GAY DUDE altho I think that moment with Mrs F? when he walked in on them made him go WHOAH in that way when you suddenly realize your dear friend is also a sexual being? idk exactly how to put it.

It reminds me of when he and G- get all fussy about 'BUT WHAT IF HE'S TIRED OF ME' 'BUT WHAT IF HE WANTS TO GO LOVE SOMEONE ELSE' &c &c. It's kind of hilarious that in this work a lot of the drama-stirring is done by the male characters. (The women are too busy TCB!) (And a lot of the time when the men try to do the public intrigues to fix things, it backfires instead....)

[nenya_kanadka]

Hah yep, my "Oh, Sandy!" moments are from fond exasperation at least as much as sighing over his hotness. And I think you have the right of it re: walking in on them. Somehow knowing your BFF does sex work and walking in on her making out with her girlfriend are quite different things.

[sharpiefan]

I think Mr McD- is quite completely of the brotherhood and therefore it is of no use to sigh over him. Altho' they wou'd make quite the sweetest couple and I have no doubt that even if he did not incline to marriage, Lady B- wou'd be very glad to render him thanks in a most personal stile.

[sjkasabi]

*giggles* Poor C!